Little Keeper of Secrets #YoungAdult

CHAPTER 4- Promises... Promises...

"I feel keeping a promise to yourself is a direct reflection of the love you have for yourself. I used to make promises to myself and find them easy to break. Today, I love myself enough to not only make a promise to myself, but I love myself enough to keep that promise" - Steve Maraboli

My mum wrote that. This was hers.

I thought about it. Mum had never talked about her past. She used to tell us her childhood was gone. That she didn't remember a thing. She used to tell us that her life started when she met dad. We never met her family either. Mum didn't have one. Maybe she did have one but they never visited. I never heard her talk about her family. No sisters, brothers or aunts. Not even her parents did she ever talk about. I might ask dad when we have dinner if he feels like talking.

I went back inside and kept on reading

" 23 August 1995

Dear little keeper of secrets, next week I am starting on the school Mami was talking about. I'm a bit nervous. What if people don't like me. What if I get bullied. What if people there are as bad as Papi? Lauren would know what to do. I miss her... Stupid car... Stupid kid who was driving that car. Stupid, stupid , stupid!!!

I hope everything goes okay though. I will seem as happy as I can. All the time! Yes, people love happy people. I love happy people. Happiness is the answer... I will always be happy! Always!"

I stopped reading. My mum seemed to put a line under every promise... I turned back to the other pages and there it was again. Two other promises. I decided to write them down. I got a piece of paper and wrote down:

Promises that mum made

I will stay strong everyday and I will never cry

That when I cried it would only be of pure happiness and that I would laugh it off and have the greatest day. And that when I get older and have my own kids I would teach them that.

I will always be happy

I looked down the paper. My mum was keeping these promises. She has been keeping these promises for 20 years. I thought it through. This was her diary. It contained all the answers of why mum did stuff like she did. The reasons why mum was always laughing and smiling and maybe more.

I remember my mum always used to tell us that promises are like diamonds inside rocks. Once you see how precious it actually is, you want to keep it. She used to tell us that very often. She used to say it in all of her speeches, when we sat by the table eating dinner and when she used to read a book. Basically everytime she heard the word promise.

I turned the page and continued reading.

"10 September 1995

Oh god L.K.O.S. School is amazing! I have met the coolest people in the world! I was so worried for nothing. I have a room mate. Her name is Claudine but I'm calling her Clad. She is amazing! Well, to be honest I was afraid of her at first because she smokes and so does her friends. But she was so nice and god she is so smart! She has read so many books and she knows so much. We had our first test last week and she answered absolutely every single question.

I made friends with Jean-Baptiste too. Jean-Baptiste made feel like I could stop breathing at any time. He had the most beautiful black hair and that amazing golden-brown tan. His eyes , sigh, blue as the clearest sky. Tattoos covered most of his arms but they made him look so special. He was beautiful. Impossibly beautiful. He smokes too but he is so nice and you wouldn't believe it but he is so good at drawing. You know what he told me? He said that he really loved how I haven't changed who I am, even when my friends are such bad examples I just keep on being who I am without caring of what people say. He asked me to promise that no matter what happens, I will always be myself. Then he told me the most peculiar thing. He looked to the sky and said with really big dreamy eyes "Promises are like diamonds inside rocks, once you realize how precious they are, you want to keep them. JP, Jean-Baptiste, smiled and hugged me really tight. He said that from now on we're best friends and he will always be by my side no matter what..."

I read it over and over again. There it was. Another of my mums sayings. Another promise too.

I thought about it. My mum seemed happy and she actually wrote what was on her mind. I smiled. I can read my mums thoughts and dreams here. Most important of all, I can read about her childhood and she had friends!

But wait a minute. There was something I was unseeing.

I sighed. Jean-Baptiste. That's my fathers name...