CHAPTER 2- The Fire Painting

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"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." - Henry Wadsworth


The day after the funeral I swear I could still hear the sad singing.

"Blessed be Your name

In that land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be your name..."

Dad decided that maybe if we did something together, as a family we would get happier and maybe feel better.

"We should go outside, have a picnic and clear our heads. Maybe try to forget what has happened for a while."

I really didn't want to go outside. I didn't want to go out my room. I didn't want to move at all. So my dad took Katya and Leon, my brother and sister, outside and left me to die of depression alone.

I mostly spent my day on my bed, complaining about how lazy I am, complaining that my butt hurt but I was too lazy to do something about it and thinking that what if mum was right and there was something called "heaven" out there. I finally gave up being lazy when my stomach hurt like hell because i had not eaten anything all day. The song was still stuck in my head.

"... Blessed be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Thought I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be Your name..."

As I went through the house I noticed how empty my mums painting room was. I decided to check it out. I don't know what I was thinking, but I felt like i just had to check out what was in there. As I stepped through the door and inside the room, a distant memory flashed through my mind.

"Vincent, when you get older I might not be around anymore."

"Why is that mummy?"

"One day I will fly away and live in Heaven. I will be in paradise and i won't be able to visit you ever again. But do not be sad about it because those will be the happiest days of my life."

"Mummy won't you miss us?"

"Dear Vincent, I will not miss you because all the happiness will make time fly so fast that when you too come up there, to me, it will feel like it was yesterday I left you guys..."

"Mummy I want to understand you but I feel like not even you understand what's going on inside yourself."

I remember my mum looked at me. Her big and wavy blond hair waved around with the wind and she looked at me with those big ocean blue eyes. She made a funny face.

"Vin, I want you to forever remember that all the answers are in the fire painting."

My mum's painting room was creepy and scary. White sheets covering most of the furniture and closets and most of her paintings hidden. The drawings that used to be on the walls were taken down and now you could actually see how white the room was. There was dust everywhere which was making my nose feel irritated. In the corners of the room I could see my mums drawings and paintings hidden as if they didn't want to be seen. That made me curious and I almost automatically found myself going through my mums paintings.

I had never thought of it much, but as I went through my mums paintings I saw that all she painted was with cold colours. She only painted sad stuff. That was the big irony with my mum. I know the world is a very big place and that the universe is infinite and shit but my mum was probably one of the happiest persons alive. She was happy all the time and she was against crying. but one thing she really admired was depression. My mum tried to paint depression in many different forms and shapes. She was obsessed with sadness and depression. She'd ask everyone how it feels when you're sad. How does people get depressed.

Funny thing is I found one painting who was the odd one out. It had many strong, warm colours and it seemed so lively and happy. It was a fire and it seemed that inside that fire children were dancing. On the corner you could see my mums beautiful signature. But then I noticed that something else was written under her signature. The title of the painting. It was a little hard to read but then I saw it. The fire. The name of this painting was "The Fire".

"Vin, I want you to forever remember that all the answers are in the fire painting."

I checked every single inch of that painting and as I turned the painting around a little book fell out.

"Vin, I want you to forever remember that all the answers are in the fire painting."

I placed the painting on a safe place so it wouldn't get ruined or dirty. I picked up the book and opened it. My heart stopped as i read the first sentence in the first page of the little book.

"Vin, I want you to forever remember that all the answers are in The Fire painting..."

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