Invisible Affection | Taejin

23. BDP

A/N: An update in honor of my soon to be ex husband birthday ❤️  

On another note, this book holds a topic I've been wanting to write about for a long time, but couldn't until I felt I had enough understanding. So bear with me as you did with Dog Walker ❤️

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Taehyung felt disbelief as he listened to Jin's emotional outburst. It was surprising for him to hear the man he loved suddenly expressing feelings that seemed mutual. However, he struggled to match these new feelings with the reality of their past.

For many days, Taehyung felt pain from loving someone who hadn't returned that similar love. Each day, he battled a loneliness that consumed him, making him feel as if he was drowning in unreturned love. As he listened to Jin's words, which seemed to reveal buried feelings, he felt empty and didn't know how to handle these unexpected confessions.

As someone who was all too familiar with the suffocating solitude of unrequited love, he didn't want to get lost in Jin's love maze again. The idea of returning to a relationship that always seemed to depend on Jin's feelings filled him with fear. It felt like an endless puzzle, one where his own feelings and emotions were lost, existing only for Seokjin's convenience.

Hearing Jin refer to him as "mine" filled him with discomfort that he hadn't expected. Just a year ago, such a possessive statement would have brought him joy, filling him with warmth.

But now, that same phrase felt tainted by memories of how he had been treated as if he were an extension of Jin's wants, his own emotions molded to fit what Jin wanted and what he found pleasing.

He had learned the hard way that losing oneself to someone else's expectations was not a path he wanted to tread again.

He struggled to control his thoughts, wanting to be strong and resist his feelings. It was hard to admit that his feelings for Jin were still alive. Deep down, he knew his feelings for Seokjin were still there, refusing to go away. Even though he tried to move on, many days, he found himself lost in memories of their time together and what he felt for him.

Strong feelings washed over him every time he saw Jin, even for a moment. This feeling was familiar and strange, and it confused him. With each encounter, he also felt anger. He was angry about Jin's grip on him and didn't realize that having a first love could lead to such powerful emotions lingering long after parting ways, even when he knew it was the right decision to walk away.

"I have realized that you may never have truly liked me, Seokjin. Even now, it feels like you have no real feelings for me. What troubles you more is the idea of losing someone who was once so obedient to your every demand, someone who always prioritized your needs over their own. The thought that someone else might now be enjoying the same kind of devotion that I once gave you clearly bothers you.

Over these past few months, I have taken a step back and reflected deeply on what we had, and I can honestly say that I've grown wiser. I have learned the hard way about the importance of boundaries, and I refuse to allow anyone, including you, to occupy such a large space in my life again.

You've helped show me the need to value myself, reminding me that I shouldn't be so eager to give my all to someone who clearly doesn't care about my well-being."

It was painful and liberating for Taehyung to confront these truths, especially as he witnessed Jin's emotions pour out before him. But he was determined to try his best to take charge of his feelings and no longer allow Jin to control his emotions, no matter how difficult it was to see him vulnerable.

As he noticed the angry expression on Jin's face, he instinctively started to back away. He accidentally bumped the back of his ankle against a chair, almost losing his balance. He managed to stay upright but found himself pressed against the cold wall. Jin, however, did not seem to care about Taehyung's situation; he continued to walk toward him with an intensity that left no way to escape.