Invisible Affection | Taejin

25. Promises

"Did you not miss me?" The question came from Jin, who had settled comfortably with his head resting against Taehyung's lap. Taehyung looked down at Jin, meeting his gaze, and took a deep breath before looking away. "I did," he confessed, unable to hide his emotions or tell a lie.

Jin shifted slightly to face Taehyung better, his expression curious. "Really? Then why did you keep ignoring me?"

Taehyung met Jin's eyes again, "Seokjin," he began, "while there were certain things I missed about you, I didn't miss the way you talked to me sometimes, how those words made me feel small and insignificant. I realized that I didn't want to experience that again, so I decided to protect what little self-worth I had left."

The room fell silent as Jin took a moment to process Taehyung's words, simply gazing at him. After some time, he finally spoke. "I am sorry," he said, his voice low and sincere. "I think I took you for granted, believing that no matter what happened, you would always be there for me. But I've come to realize that I have a lot to work on within myself. I'm trying to improve, and I plan to put in the effort because even though I know I could seek a relationship elsewhere, the thought of being with someone else feels so unfair when you're still in existence."

Jin paused for a moment. "Your presence alone heals something inside me that I can't put into words, and just being near you brings me peace. My mind thrives on chaos, and that was all I knew for a long time, especially with my past relationships. But with you, it's different. What we had may not have been clearly defined, but you were the first person who didn't feed into that chaos. You are calm, thoughtful, caring, and kind. Everything my life lacks, and I am not.

Right now, being here with you feels like all my past struggles have faded away. I didn't realize how much I relied on you to be that calming presence for me, and in doing so, I neglected a lot and shouldn't have. I want the chance to fix that, Taehyung. I really do."

He shifted again, sitting up and moving to straddle Taehyung's lap, his hands resting on either side of his shoulders as he stared deeply into Taehyung's eyes. "I'm going to be extremely vulnerable right now," he confessed, his voice trembling slightly.

"I really like you, Kim Taehyung. I like you a lot. You've helped me through so much that you probably don't even realize. I know I've failed to show you how much I care and what you mean to me. While I understand that I won't magically become perfect overnight, I will work on improving and ask you for another chance. Please. I need it. I need you." Jin's eyes glistened with tears as he searched Taehyung's eyes for understanding.

Taehyung felt his heart race as he stared into Jin's eyes, wishing for the pounding to stop. The more he gazed, the faster his heartbeat became. Leaning in closer, he pressed his forehead against Jin's, closing his eyes to sort through his thoughts before making any hasty decisions.

Taking a calming breath, Taehyung pulled back slightly to meet Jin's gaze again. "Why don't we start by working on building a true friendship?"

Jin shook his head vigorously. "That's not going to work for me. I've realized I can't just be your friend, Taehyung."

Surprised, Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I just opened up to you, I told you how I feel. I like you, but not in a platonic way. I have friends already. What I want is for you to be my boyfriend. That's the only kind of 'friend'  I'm interested in.

I'm not trying to be selfish or controlling, but I know myself well enough to understand that being friends would mean something entirely different, and I can't handle that. If we try to just be friends, it'll only make you hate me more over time."

"Seokjin, I don't hate you," Taehyung interjected quickly.

"Then you must dislike me."

"I might dislike some of the things you do, but not you. It's quite the opposite, and I think you know that."