After The Ending (John Frusciante)

Chapter 43

"Hey, have you uh.. Perhaps you have seen Amaya?" John hesitantly turned towards Stephanie, his hands nervously sliding up and down his pants and his eyes scanning the backyard.

"I think she went upstairs for a second," she replied, her lips soon curling into a mischievous smile, "For what I have heard, you should know where her old room is if you need her."

"Oh, uhm.. Yeah," John almost mumbled, then nodded and watched how Stephanie retreated back to the pool area to keep an eye on Olivia and her guests.

What was he doing? Was this really the place?

Of course it wasn't. He knew that is wasn't, but he needed to have a moment with her right this minute. He needed to say at least something to her, because he had waisted enough time as it was. He was being an idiot. After 10 whole years he was still being an absolute idiot, a coward even, and he needed to make things right.

Or at least he needed to try to make them right.

He had no idea what was going to come out of this or what he was even going to say, but after a few more minutes of contemplation, he slowly made his way into the house and then upstairs, trying to remain rather unnoticed while the door he knew to belong to Amaya's old room soon appeared in front of him.

He still had no idea of what he was doing, but he knocked on the door regardlessly, his heart beating anxiously while a soft "Come in!" echoed from the room.

"Oh, hey.." Amaya turned as soon as John had stepped into the room, visibly surprised, "If you want to get going, I'll be downstairs in a minute. I just need to change my shirt, I spilled some juice on it."

"Uhm.." John took a breath, then lightly shook his head while trying to compose himself, "No, I uh.. I wasn't planning on leaving.."

What the hell was he doing here? Seeing the surpised look on her face, standing right in front of her made him feel even worse and even more stupid. What on Earth was he trying to do?

"I was just uhm.." he mumbled after a moment, his voice then trailing off again while his eyes travelled over the room they were standing in.

It looked almost the same as it did the last time he was here, some 15 years ago, the walls still greenish with some white detailing and the furniture placement unchanged, the bean bag that gave him an awful back pain the first time he stayed over still occupying the corner next to her old bed.

He couldn't help but to smile once he thought about the night he appeared at her window, soaking wet from the rain and pleading to be let in, having no idea what this night would end up meaning to him so many years later. He still remembered every detail of it, even the way her pink bathrobe smelled and how soft it felt against his skin, and even the way streetlights illuminated her face in the darkness. And then he remembered that this was the place where he kissed her for the very first time and how he would give absolutely anything to be able to do that again.

"You were just.." he was then shaken out of his thoughts, the look on Amaya's face expressing a mix of curiosity and confusion.

"Yeah, I was uh.." he mumbled again, then noted after he had slid his eyes over the room once more, "Not much has changed here.."

"Uhm.." Amaya breathed after a moment, catching a quick glimpse of her old room and allowing herself to be reminded of the moments they used to share in this space, a soft smile soon appearing on her lips, "Yeah, I guess not.."

"I don't think I ever told you how much I loved it here," John then smiled, his eyes aimed at her and his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Yeah?" Amaya smiled in return, then let out a sound that was a mix of a laugh and an amused snort while making her way towards the closet, "That's what I always thought. That it was about the room and the pink robe."