wlw oneshots !

failure

i toss and turn restlessly, throwing the duvet off of my body. i stare up at the ceiling in the dark, the only source of light being the street lamp posts outside, illuminating the shared dorm room through a window. i turn my head to the side, seeing my girlfriend still peacefully asleep, deep into her slumber.

its no surprise that ive wasted another few hours thinking about my future. but i hate that i cant stop thinking about it. i hate it because it brings me to tears, every. single. time. of course, to my expectation, my eyes began to well up with tears and my nose starts to feel congested. my throat has a lump i cannot get rid of, and my breaths are shaky again.

i try to stay quiet, in consideration of the sleeping beauty next to me, but my heaving and my sobs uncontrollably slip out, over and over again and i cant seem to stop. i feel the mattress beneath me move, and i turn my head to see her stirring in her sleep, slowly waking up. i feel guilty immediately and start sobbing even more, definitely waking her up this time.

she sits up slowly, pushing her long curly hair out of her face, and rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, trying to collect what was going on. she then turns to me, and her body visibly shows her concern.

"baby?? are you okay? whats wrong? yalk to me sweetheart." she coos as she pulls me into her lap, allowing me to bury my face into the crook of her neck, immediately wetting her hoodie as i sob into it. she runs her fingers through my hair soothingly, massaging my scalp while tracing circles on my back in attempt to comfort me.

she pulls back for a moment, scanning my face. "you okay? wanna tell me whats wrong?"

i shake my head. "not yet. water." she nods her head and leaves the room to fetch me a glass of water, coming back almost immediately. she hands me the glass and i chug it as if i hadnt had water in ages. i set the glass down and crawl back into her lap, tucking my arms in against ber body and bury my face into the crook of her neck again, breathing in her scent.

she holds me for a minute, and then asks again. "wanna talk yet, my love?" i decide that i should, so i nod my head and pull back from her a little bit.

"i've been struggling. i keep feeling like i'll never get anywhere in the future, and i feel like no matter how much i study and no matter how well i do, im always going to disappoint my mother sone way or another." my voice cracks and i take a deep breath. she looks at me understandingly, nodding her head gently.

"and not just that, the fact that she doesnt see anything good in me, and always expects the worst out of me as if im stupid. i know im not... i think im not...? but she makes me feel like i am. and it hurts. coming from my own mother. sometimes i feel like she doesnt even love me. hell, i bet she doesnt even LIKE me." the tears start to fill my ryes again, and i start to try to catch my breath again as she pulls me into her embrace again, shushing me.

"shhh.. shh shh shh... it'll be okay baby. you'll be okay. you're not even close to anywhere near stupid. just because shes your mother, it doesnt mean she's always right about you. she doesnt even know you. not even surface level. what makes her think that her opinions about you are always right? shes so wrong about you sweetheart. youre so intelligent, and not just that but intellectual as well. youre so well spoken, and you have the sweetest most kindest soul ever. and i know youll have a future. a bright one and you WILL get there, and i'll be with you every step of the way. you'll be okay baby. you'll be okay." she soothes sweetly, planting kisses all over my face softly.

i pull back looking at her admiringly, wondering how i got so lucky. im so blessed to have her. she cups my face in her hands, running her thumbs across my cheeks sweetly then bringing my face forward, kissing the tip of my nose. "i love you, sweetheart. youre not stupid. im here for you, okay baby?" i nod knowingly.

"thank you. i love you. im sorry for waking you up. im so lucky to have you." i sniffle quietly.

"always here for you baby. dont be sorry. go back to sleep, okay?" she runs her fingers through my hair.

i nod and we both climb back under the duvet, and i snuggle up into her body on my side, laying my head on her chest and entwining our legs. i fall asleep peacefully, knowing that when i doubt myself, she will always be there for me.

eeek cheesy 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️