"when the silence came we, were shaking blind and hazy."
I spent the entire day in bed. How I got there? I'm not too sure. The car ride home was a blur, all I remember was the feeling of Eleanor's hand soothing my back. I remember stumbling out of the taxi and standing frozen on the curb while Eleanor finished paying the cab driver. She led me into the building and up the stairs. I don't know how I managed to keep one foot in front of the other. My hands were shaking as I opened the door to my apartment. It felt cold and empty inside, or maybe that was just me. I toed my shoes off and headed straight for my room, leaving Eleanor behind. Not even caring to take off my uncomfortable jeans, I climbed in bed and pulled the sheets over my head. That's when I let the tears fall again.
Eleanor stayed with me all day. As I hid under my blanket, I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door before the quiet squeak of the door hinges. Light feet padded across the floor and I was met with the familiar sound of my closet door opening. A few seconds later I felt the mattress dip beneath me and I peeked my head out the covers. There was Eleanor, her hair tied into a braid, wearing my red jumper. A sympathetic look on her face.
"Hey, honey." She whispered softly, pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"Hey." I managed to respond in between hiccups.
"Come here." She cooed, opening her arms wide.
I scooted closer to her, letting her wrap me up in a warm embrace. It felt nice and for a second, lying there in her arms I almost let myself believe they were the arms of the only one I ever truly loved, almost. They were Eleanor's arms, not his, and they would never be his again. The weight of her body against mine and the soft lavender scent of her perfume lulled me to sleep, something I so desperately needed.
When I woke back up it was dark. My bed empty and cold. I wiped my face to find shiny wet tears plaguing my fingertips, I guess not even sleep could stop them from falling. I extended my arms in a long stretch before climbing out of bed, a blanket wrapped around my shoulders like a cape. The smell of food wafted throughout the house. I opened my bedroom door, hearing laughter down the hallway, and for the first time in hours, I smiled.
I walked down the hallway to see Zayn in the kitchen stirring a mysterious substance in a pot on the stove, and Eleanor perched on the kitchen counter laughing while peeling potatoes.
"What's going on here?" I said, happily. Yeah, happily.
They both looked over at me, wearing worried looks on their faces. Once they saw me their faces lightened up a bit.
"Hey, man. You alright?" Zayn asked. I guess Eleanor filled him in on the situation. I nodded.
"You look better." Eleanor said, returning to peeling her potatoes.
"I feel a bit better." I responded quietly, taking a seat on one of the bar stools. "So, what are you two doing messing up my kitchen?" I sassed.
They both shot me dirty looks.
"We're making you food you ungrateful tit." Eleanor threw a dish rag at me.
"And it's soup." Zayn added.
"And it's soup." I mocked him.
"What happened to 'my life is over' Louis? He was nicer." Eleanor joked.
"He's still here, just hiding at the moment. He likes to do sneak attacks." I responded.
"Any 'Louis' is a friend of mine." Zayn exclaimed, pouring chopped up carrots into the pot.
"Oi!" Eleanor shouted in agreement. I found myself laughing slightly at them. These two goofballs were just trying to make me feel better. What would I do without them?
Eleanor hopped down from the counter and brought her bowl full of freshly peeled potatoes to Zayn. He took the potatoes and added them into the pot, placing the lid on top.
"The soup should take about an hour to cook." He said, wiping his hands with a dish towel.
"Hey Louis? Wanna watch a movie?" Eleanor asked. She was still wearing my red jumper, practically drowning in it as well. You couldn't even tell she was wearing pants. Was she wearing pants? Knowing Eleanor there's a high likelihood she's not.
"Yeah, let me just go get my phone." I spoke. I plopped down off the stool and made my way to my room. I looked around my room for my phone and found a dim light shining from beneath my bed sheets. I retrieved my phone and almost fell over when I saw I was receiving a call.
'Harry (piano emoji)'
I watched it ring. A warm tear trickled down my face. Once the call screen had gone away, I noticed my notification center was flooded. It was all the same name. That same sweet, seductive, perfect name. The name that made me feel safe, made me feel important, made me feel like I was worth something. Texts, calls, video calls. Hundreds of each. I cleared my inbox.
***
I didn't show up to rehearsals for the rest of the week. I knew my lines. I was confident in my performance. I certainly didn't need Harry telling me whether or not I was good. I didn't need his opinion. Eleanor came over after rehearsals every day. She would tell me all about whatever crazy antics Niall and Amelia got up to that day. Danny had left. She never saw him again after that day. Harry was... well Harry was a mess.
He was constantly asking Eleanor about me. "Is he alright?" "Please tell him it was just a big misunderstanding." "Do you know if he'll be at rehearsals today?" "Has he been receiving my calls?" "Eleanor, please get him to come to rehearsals. I need to talk to him."
Some of the things Eleanor told me he said were just plain pathetic, but some. Some made me question if I should hear him out. I mean when Danny touched him that day his face dropped. Maybe he didn't want it? Maybe he wasn't lying? Maybe I should give him another chance? Well, maybes aren't good enough for me.
Tomorrow is opening night for my first ever Broadway show. My first time being a lead in a Broadway show as well. I spent the whole day calling my friends and family, they had all flown into New York to see me. I had just finished talking to my sister Lottie who was getting ready to go clubbing for the first time in NYC when I instinctively typed out the name of the next person I wanted to call. The word 'Harry' took up my screen. I slowly tapped on his contact, watching as it opened his contact card. His photo was one I took at his house. We were sitting across from each other on the couch, feet tangled together. He was reading a book and I had been scrolling on my phone. He looked so entranced by whatever he was reading, he looked beautiful. I opened my camera app and snapped a picture. Saving it as his contact photo.
My face felt warm and I touched my cheek to feel the soft outline of a smile. I was smiling at his contact, something I hadn't done in a while. My fingers loomed over the call button for a few minutes. I wanted to call him. I wanted to go to his house and watch him read. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him. But he didn't want me. I locked my phone and placed it on my bedside table. I reached over and turned off my lamp, bathing the room in complete darkness. With the sounds of honking cars and blasting stereos filling the streets just outside my window. I fell asleep.
OKAY A LOT TO TALK ABOUT!!! so sorry i've been gone for so long :(( complete writer's block and laziness. this chapter is just a filler chapter because shit is about to GO DOWN next chapter. sadly, the book is coming to an end soon. i am aware that this was a very short book, that being said it was also my first EVER book so for what it's worth i think it's pretty good. i'm still trying to figure out the path i want to take for my next book so that will be very exciting!! i hope you guys decide to tag along for the journey!! but enough talking about future projects, this book still has some chapters left so let's not get too ahead of ourselves. i hope you guys enjoyed this short little chapter and again i am so sorry for the long break i took. lots of love <33
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Maroon (larry stylinson)
Fanfiction"The one I was dancing with in New York, no shoes, looked up at the sky and it was maroon." Louis Tomlinson is an aspiring actor living in New York. When he lands his dream role as 'The Phantom' in "The Phantom of the Opera", he is forced to endure...
