Mirrors: Do You Like What You See?

Life

            There is one thing about life that is equal for everyone; it is hard. No one can make it through the path of life without coming across at least one obstacle. In reality, life is not a path at all it is a maze. A maze of mirrors, where you cannot even see where your going until you take a step in the direction you think is right. Most times you are wrong once or twice, and you slam face first into the hard cold glass before you take a step in the right direction. But when you finally get the hang of it, it is a thrill ride. Nothing can stop you from wanting to find that "bright light". The light that resembles the end of all searching you have created in your mind. Running in circles, looking at different ways you could possibly choose, not knowing at some points what you are even doing. Even so, when some of us think we have found that bright light; we turn around to take another path. As that light just is not as bright as we imagined it was. We keep thriving to find bigger and brighter lights, and trying to get closer and closer to the end. At least that is what my life feels like. Looking back at my life today, I never would have imagined how far I have come. Life is hard but the more you live it and embrace it; the more you enjoy the rush. You enjoy pushing to be better and better and to find more and more paths, each and every day.

              My story starts back in high school, the darkest part of my race through the maze. I went to a small high school, of only 300 people. Some would think that was awesome. Everyone knows each other. Everyones friends. But most times it is the complete opposite. At least it is if you are apart of the misfit family. Never wanting to conform to a specific group but trying to stay true to you. Searching to find your place in cliques that never quite suited you. That was me.

               I never fit in with the popular girls because gossiping was not my thing, and I was not into backstabbing. That was not the kind of blood I was into. I never fit in with the athletes, if there was some sort of sports ball around, it was hitting me in the face and knocking my glasses off. I never fit in with the musical crowd, unless I played the triangle, and let's face it that is worst than not fitting in at all. I never fit in with the party people because crowds were never my strong point. I dabbled in the party scene a little, but I either ended up with a beer poured on my head or becoming the mom to some girl who could not remember her name. To say the least I had a pretty hard time in high school, being bumped around from group to group but never actually being a part of the circle. I even remember having a teacher ask some fellow students if I could sit with them in the cafeteria because I guess I looked super lonely, how embarrassing.

                There were just too many mirrors and not enough cracks of light to lead my way. Although, there was one group I did leave out, and that was the so-called nerd group. Which was my calling but I never quiet got around to them before I graduated. Something I regret but would not go back in time to fix. It was not until college that I realized the reason I was never fitting in is simply because I never looked in the right places. I was a sucker for wanting to be apart of the cool crowds when all along I was overlooking the coolest crowd there was, the smart kids.

               I started to see clearer; the lighting was getting brighter in the maze when I took Pre-Health Sciences. Which is basically like redoing high school again. I did not search for the cool crowd or try to fit in at all. At this point I thought it was doomed. So I simply just let the people who wanted to hang out with me come around and hoped for the best. This time though, I found my clique, I fit in, and I was accepted. In the end I had a strong group, one that had all the same outlooks academically and in life. The course I wanted to get into was pretty competitive and you needed to keep a 4.0 GPA to get in. All my courses consisted of sciences such as: biology, chemistry, physics and some math and English. So it is not like they were easy to get high grades in. I was more nervous because I did not get high marks in high school, I was too worried about getting out of there and trying to stay sane at the same time. However, my nerves went away as soon as I started seeing my grades. I could not help but notice that actually enjoying school makes a huge difference in grades. Also having a strong friend group to study and goof off with once in a while really does make a change for the better.

                 I was starting to see more and more light, like the end of the path was near. I ended up getting accepted into my dream course and I excelled in that as well. Along the way I gained and lost friends but at this point I knew who I was and what I wanted so it did not matter anymore. Instead of bouncing around trying to find friends, I spent more time focusing on my studies and my future; friends just came along with it. It is funny how we can get caught up in such silly things in life.

                  As time went on, there were more glimpses of light, more choices. After college I had a co-op at a hospital in a city not too far from my hometown. This was the brightest light I had seen so far through this maze of life. I was there for a full year working as an X-Ray Technologist. The imaging department was my playground. I learned so much and I did not want to stop learning. Along the way I met many amazing people, all who which I felt I fit in great with and I was accepted by.

                 One of which lead me through to the brightest lights I never knew I could see with my own eyes. My true calling and dream is now to become a physician. I spent everyday of that entire year extremely happy, with myself, with my choices, with my friends, with my family and with my life in general. The whole time I thought it was because I finally was where I needed to be and I finally fit in. I thought the maze was finally over. What I didn't realize was that I felt that way because I finally found out why the mirrors were even there in the first place. All this time I was trying to fit in, until I noticed that the only thing that makes us truly happy in life is to be you. To find what makes you happy and go towards it with confidence.

                    Through all the mirrors, the brightest light was just a reflection of myself.