Tainted-Mattheo Riddle

27|Lily

A constant dull ache was in my chest. It was like there was a hole in my punched into my chest and it didn't stop. We all decided to stay at the Weasley's but my chest still hurt even in the comfort of their home . "Lily,darling you have to eat" Mrs.Weasley said gently, putting down a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of me. He had left me. I thought he loved me.He hadn't even said a word to me when being accused by Harry. It was like I wasn't loved by him at all like it was all an act. "A broken heart is no reason to not to eat" Mrs.Weasley added. Mattheo riddle now thrived on my pain and suffering the only difference now is I could see it. He did not love me. I was just a pawn in his stupid game.How could I be such a fool. The strange thing is I don't hate him not even a little bit not even at all. My heart still beats for Mattheo oh it beats so much for him. I fidgeted with the old pendant around my neck a habit that is not frequent. "I am not hungry" I said, my voice lacking any emotion.

"Lily you haven't eaten in days" Melanie said her hands resting on the table, Her eyes were sad. I knew she was heart broken by Lorenzo. She admitted to me that something happened between them but she just didn't tell me what. "I'm seriously not hungry" I lied, I was starving every inch of my body ached to shove those pancakes into my mouth.I just couldn't do it, the ache in my chest was stronger than the hunger that is trying to consume me. "Melanie, Molly may I speak to you?" Professor Lupin said as he walked in. He wanted to talk to them about me, I could see it in the way he looked at me.Melanie exchanged a glance with Mrs. Weasley, and both women rose from their seats quietly. "We'll be back in a moment, dear," Mrs. Weasley said gently, her tone comforting but firm.Melanie was younger than Mrs. Weasley and Lupin, but for some reason, they included her in the conversation about me. Maybe they thought she'd have some insight I wouldn't share.

"How are you doing" I heard a familiar voice say as he plopped down next to me "George," I said softly, looking up at him. "We figured you needed a laugh and who better than us"Fred chimed in, plopping down on the other side of me with his usual carefree grin. "You two have such big egos" I said with an eye roll. "It's not an ego if it's true" George said, shooting a smile at Fred "Those pancakes are meant to be eaten, you know," George said, gesturing toward the plate in front of me. I just couldn't bring myself to eat the pancakes, Those chocolate dots reminded me too much of Mattheo's eyes—those deep, mesmerizing eyes that I could never forget. The ache in my chest intensified, and I suddenly felt nauseous. The last thing I wanted to do was sit here and eat something that brought back memories of him. Not when it was so raw.

I pushed my chair back abruptly and bolted out of the room. I barely registered the voices calling after me as I rushed to the bathroom, my hand covering my mouth.My body heaved, rejecting everything until there was nothing left but the bitter, neon-yellow bile that burned my throat and left me gasping for air. The door opened and in came Melanie as she shut the door behind her.

"So this is what they when you're sickly in love" She said,her voice a whisper. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. "I wish I could forget him" I whispered, Melanie shook her head "But you hurt this much because he made you feel so good" She said softly, sitting on the bathroom floor next to me.

"Don't you wish to forget Lorenzo?" I asked, She stayed silent for a moment, answering the question in her head. She stayed silent for a moment, her gaze distant as if she were answering the question in her head. Finally, she sighed, a weak smile tugging at her lips. "No," she admitted, her voice soft but steady. "I loved him, and he hurt me so much by choosing the Death Eaters. But I don't want to forget him. Her smile turned wistful, a bittersweet glimmer in her eyes. "I felt magical when I was with him," she continued. "And I wouldn't have felt that way if it weren't for him." 

I wanted to forget Mattheo because of how I loved him. If I loved him so much then that's why it hurt so much. So wouldn't it be better to forget him than to bear this pain for so long?Perhaps the pain was a good pain but all I wanted to forget this hurt. To forget this big hole in my chest. I wanted to let go of this love that shattered me completely. That made throw up. The kind of pain that made me wake up screaming from nightmares of him killing my friends. Why did professor Lupin have to pair me with him? Why did I have to fall in love with him. I felt hot tears running down my cheeks. 

"Lily"Melanie whispered softly, her voice trembling as she reached out to me. These were the first tears I cried since he betrayed me. "I need to forget him Melanie the pain is too great" I cried, wiping the tears away though it was no use because more tears came. "If I forget him the pain will stop" I whispered. Melanie looked at me "Are you asking me to perform obliviate? isn't it supposed to make you forget the person performing the spell?" I shook my head "If you're skilled enough you can make a person forget another person" I explained. Melanie looked at me "I am not skilled enough for that" She said but Hermione was she was skilled at every subject. She could do the spell on me all I had to do was ask and she'd probably do it.