Rave & Roses {A Rema Fanfic}

42 - Michael

The moment my mom called to say Zara was awake, I dropped everything and rushed to the hospital. My hands trembled as I clutched the gift bags I had hastily packed—flowers, chocolates, her favorite scented candles, and even a stuffed bear like the ones she used to love as a kid. It wasn't enough, I knew that, but I didn't know what else to do. How do you make up for all the ways you've failed someone you love?

When I stepped into her room and saw her sitting up, alive and breathing, I felt a rush of relief so powerful it nearly knocked me over. For weeks, I had been haunted by the image of her lying motionless, tubes and machines doing the work her body couldn't. But here she was, my baby sister, awake and looking at me.

"Zara," I whispered, my voice breaking as I walked closer.

Her eyes met mine, and for a moment, I thought I saw something flicker in her expression—recognition, maybe. But it was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by a guarded confusion.

I couldn't stop myself. I dropped the bags and fell to my knees beside her bed, grabbing her hand in mine. "Zara, I'm so sorry," I choked out, my tears falling freely. "I'm sorry for everything—everything I did, everything I didn't do. I hurt you, and I'll never forgive myself for it. Please, please forgive me."

Her hand felt so small and fragile in mine, and I held it like it was the most precious thing in the world. Because it was. Zara had always been my baby sister, the one I swore to protect no matter what. And yet, I had let her down in every way that mattered.

"I should have been there for you," I continued, my voice trembling. "I should have stood up for you, fought for you, believed in you. Instead, I let you carry so much pain on your own. I let you down, Zara, and I'm so, so sorry."

I couldn't hold back the sobs that shook my body. For so long, I had tried to be strong, to push my guilt aside and focus on fixing the mess I had helped create. But seeing her awake, seeing the consequences of my actions staring back at me, it all came crashing down.

She didn't say anything at first, and I didn't expect her to. I just needed her to know how much I regretted everything, how much I hated myself for the part I played in her suffering.

"I love you, Zara," I whispered, looking up at her through tear-filled eyes. "You're my baby sister, and I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you, if you let me. Just... please don't shut me out."

Her eyes softened, but there was still something distant about her gaze. She didn't pull her hand away, though, and that was enough for now.

As I knelt there, clutching her hand and pouring out my heart, I made a silent vow to myself: I would never let her down again. No matter what it took, I would make things right. Zara deserved nothing less.

Here's an expanded version of Michael's emotional confession, delving deeper into his guilt and vulnerability:

Zara's voice, soft and uncertain, broke through the storm of my thoughts. "Michael... why did you hate me?"

Her words were like a slap, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe. "What?" I managed to croak, looking up at her in disbelief.

"Why did you let everything happen?" she continued, her voice trembling with a mix of hurt and confusion. "You promised me, as my big brother, that you would always be there for me. But you weren't. You let everything fall apart, and now... now I don't even know who I am anymore."

The weight of her words hit me harder than I could have imagined. It was as if everything I had been hiding, all the excuses I'd made to justify my actions, were being ripped away in one brutal question.

I looked down at our intertwined hands, fighting back the guilt that threatened to drown me. I had no right to explain, no right to offer excuses, but I knew I had to tell her the truth. The full, ugly truth.