A Dreamer's Worlds

Plants are Weird (Part 1 of Plants are...)

I slammed my face on my desk and had to wonder if I meant to do that or if I was just really tired. Maybe both. In case it was on purpose, I added in a groan to add to the effect, whatever that was. Then I threw my head back and groaned again, getting the attention of my partner.

"Shut up."

Thanks Jeff. I leaned forward again and stretched my arms over the desk. My hands hit the tank. Instead of ending my stretch, I start tapping out a rock beat on the tank.

"Stop."

I added in my foot.

Jeff pushed me off my chair.

"Rude." I said, getting back into my chair.

"Be quiet."

Ah, Jeff. One of few words. How can I compare to your demeanor? Not even the largest stick up my ass could let me compare to you.

But seriously, could he blame me? We were watching some Venus Fly Trap that had been engineered to do...something. I couldn't remember. I'd have to read the file and I didn't have the file. Jeff had the file, but I wasn't going to ask him. I could remain in ignorance all I want. I didn't need to ask Jeff for anything.

I looked down at my notes. I glanced at the plant. I picked up my pencil and finished off my sketchy dragon. He looked much better with smoke coming out of his nose. As I was admiring my artwork, Jeff jerked my shoulder and hissed at me to look at the plant.

It was moving now, twitching its mouth. The leaves rustled as if there was a wind, but there wasn't. We were inside and the plant was even in the tank.

And then it started hissing.

I could only say one thing:

"Feed me, Seymour."

Jeff punched me in the arm and started writing like crazy on his paper. Knowing that Jeff would have actual, objective notes, I decided to write down some subjective notes.

'13:41; Satan possessed the plant.'

Yep, that worked. Quality notes right there.

The plant kept hissing and shaking. I was paying attention now.

And then it started bleeding, a low shriek coming with it. I threw myself under the desk as Jeff bolted for the door.

It took me a bit to realize that hiding under the desk was a stupid idea, but now I was just stuck under here.

It took a little longer for the tank to break, and I nearly wet myself when claws clicked on the table.

Okay, maybe I piss myself, but it wasn't much, I swear. I took a piss before I started watch the damn plant and barely drank anything before it turned into a demon plant.

The demon plant in question lowered itself to the ground. It was huge now, but that's all I could see.

And then it turned to me. A single yellow eye stared at me. It grinned. Sharp teeth made of who-knows-what glistened in the light. The teeth parted, and it said exactly what I was thinking.

"You're fucked."

Yes, yes I was.

But it didn't kill me. The yellow eye blinked and turned away. The plant monster walked away, claws clicking on the lab floor. Drops of blood fell on floor.

Before it left the room, it turned back and told me another thing.

"You may be fucked, but he's more fucked."