Love's Inferno

Chapter 27- A Titanium Queen

Shiloh

The first two days of this week had yawned into nights with little to no fanfare. I hadn't had much time to think, to process really. It felt like everything was on fast-forward and I was on higher alert than ever. Dante had receded into work, coming home long after I had fallen asleep and waking well before I rose. I didn't fault him for it, he had always seemed to be incredibly busy and with the presence of New York ever apparent... we hadn't had time to talk. Not really, and I was okay with it. I hadn't managed to iron out much of a plan. Do we fake date? Or do we simply spring it on the public? He was a private person who'd never been officially tied to anyone he dated... wouldn't suddenly being in public draw far too much unwanted attention? More importantly, what was going to happen to my career? I was good at my job, but I didn't have the pull to engineer the optics of this away from my work. We'd met through my job- kind of. I could never beliveably explain that we'd lived together all along, well in the same building, without it looking like I'd been plotting on him from the beginning. Any angle I assumed would look like I was some hussy who manipulated him into being with me, who used her job for her own personal purposes. My professionalism would suffer. I was already suffering with all the silence, all the secrets - they were a lot... even for me. I had missed far too many of Mandi's call's to even know where to begin and what would I tell her in any case? What was I allowed to share?...

I didn't really know who to turn to. Everyone in the building had been oddly withdrawn since news of my engagement had spread, but I understood it to be a shock - to everyone, myself included. Maybe they needed space? Uncle Sal had been napping whenever I'd dropped by, Uncle Ernest out at the park and Aunty Francesa less chatty than usual.

She had sighed deeply on Monday night when I'd gone to deliver her monthly supply of heart medication.

"This life... it's not meant for you amore."

"I-"

"But you're in it now."

"That I am."

"And that man..." she shook her head on a long, pregnant pause.

"He's not that bad."

She cocked her head to the side, a small smile appearing on her hollowed face. Aunty Francesca held all the markers of having been very beautiful, but now, being frail and somewhat slow afoot, she appeared all the more beautiful to me. Time had turned her jet black hair silver, despite some strands hanging onto their youth. Her eyes were framed by deep crow's feet and her mouth the same with smile lines. Aunty Francesca was short, perhaps shorter with age and always dressed like she had somewhere extremely important to be. So far, I had yet to see her out of a matching co-ord and small block heels, with a symphony of expensive-looking jewellery to boot. She was soft spoken, but nowhere near docile, and we often spent evenings howling with laughter. Unfortunately, tonight wasn't one of those. 

"Really Aunty... he isn't." I had filled the silence hastily as her eyes grew smaller with scrutiny. 

"I wasn't talking about him. I was talking about SiIlvio..."

"Oh."

"But this is good. You'll need to be seen to defend him, and your relationship, if anyone's going to actually buy it."

"Aunty... I fear it'll be a hard sell." I was, officially, walking barefoot on a knife's edge. On one hand, I had to make the public believe that we had a whirlwind romance, and on the other, I had to appear indifferent to the outfit. I knew enough that closeness and love (perceived or actual)  could make someone like Dante vulnerable. I had to balance two completely opposite narratives without any significant bleed-over. There were lines in the sand and I was standing between both, unsure of how to move forward on either account.