Love's Inferno

Chapter 28 - P.S. The She-Devil says please

Shiloh

It shouldn't have started like any other day, but it did. I awoke to the quiet click of the front door, and an empty indent in the space next to me in bed. To say I was relieved would be an understatement. It took me a while, like a long while, to fall asleep next to Dante once he crawled into bed. I'd be lying if I said I knew exactly when he came back, but I'd hazard a guess at somewhere between three and four in the morning. He fell asleep almost immediately. I'd just been mulling everything over in an endless loop. Engaged. Fiancée. My job. His job...jobs. This world. Over and over again. What pulled me out of it, the painful tyranny of a nightmare played on repeat in my mind alone, was the warmth of his hand. Somewhere, in my endless thought cycle, I felt his arm loop over my body, pulling me against him. His body was warm and supple, his breath fanning the end of my scarf gently. It was a sweet breeze accompanied by a longing I felt ache inside of me - he wanted to touch me, even in his sleep, and I didn't know what to do about that as I stared at his nonna's ring on my bedside table. I didn't know what to do about that or the fact that I burrowed deeper into his arms and fell asleep shortly afterwards. I hadn't slept in the same bed as a man in a long time, and while I should've been panicking about it, I wasn't. Somehow, his presence settled me. His breathing soothed me. Night after night, fantasy, fiction and my life had all begun to blur. I could no longer discern between before and now; last week and this one. And I would have to if I was going to stand any chance at all at work. I wasn't disappointed that he wasn't there when I woke up - I needed space to breathe and a moment to think.

In the office, a few hours later, there was a rap on my door that served as a marked departure from the relative isolation I typically experienced at work. Looking up, I locked eyes with Kendra.

"Oh, hey Kendra." She hovered awkwardly in the doorway, and I fanned her in with my free hand, while positioning my monitor screen out of the way with the other.

"You're here..." It was an odd greeting, wrapped in cautious skepticism.

"Am I missing a meeting?" I began to open my calendar in a panic before she interrupted me.

"No. No, not at all."

"Oh..." I breathed out my anxiety before looking at her openly curious expression.

"Yeah, I'm just surprised - that's all. You've been kinda MIA from the office lately."

"I.. uh..."

"That's not a judgement Shiloh, it's just nice to see you here again."

"It's nice to see you too Kendra..." To be honest, it was nice to see her. It had been a while.

"I uh... I wanted to apologise to you."

"To me?" I couldn't think of a single thing she had to be sorry for.

"Yeah, about the Slack chat." The Slack chat. It felt like years ago, instead of weeks.

"Oh, that."

"I... I should've defended you more."

"You defended me just fine." She had. From the little I could remember of what now seemed like a petty blip in time.

"I just... I wasn't sure how much to say because I'm not really sure if you wanted to be friends."

I looked at her, truly bewildered, as I adjusted my glasses, as if hoping to get a clearer view of where that impression of me could be coming from.

"It's just that you tend to keep to yourself... a lot."

"Old habit's die hard?" I moved to humor, but the truth was that the fewer people in my life, the less I had to lose. I'd learned that lesson the hard way.