CECE, DISRESPECTFULLY | rewriting

25: CRASH AND WISH YOU WERE BURNING

            Though I'd like nothing more than him not being here, Nicolás's presence must bring some sort of luck because we win. By a wide margin too. Diwa and I get through the pair relay quicker than in any of our practices, though Noah and Meira solve theirs notably faster.

I'm happy to gloat right up to the handshakes and then I'd rather be thrown to the centre of the earth. Wouldn't be able to name a single thing more awkward than shaking hands with Fionn and thanking him for a good challenge.

That is, until I reach Elliot which is definitely more awkward. If there ever happened to be a landslide in Saltford, now would be a mint time.

I hold my hand out, my line of sight stitched to my own knuckles. Thanks to Cobham's rules, my hands are in better condition than they have been in years, unbruised, but they're still scarred and hideous, summat I've never cared about but there's no mistaking the shame that gnaws against my ribs.

Elliot's hand hesitates, plagued by a tremor until it finally slots with mine.

'Congratulations,' he says. 'You lot did really well.'

'Cheers. You too.' I tug my hand free.

The rest of the teams have dispersed, gathering their things and greeting family. Apostolou congratulates Diwa with the enthusiasm of a ticket clerk seven hours into their shift.

I take a step back just as Elliot speaks. 'Bite anyone lately?'

My stare jolts to finally meet his eyes, the colour of holly blue butterflies that seem to get bluer as his cheeks redden. I could proper do with that landslide right now! Or a fatal wasp sting. Really anything the universe has in store to get me out of this situation.

'Sorry, that were meant to be a joke. Um... How are you?'

Why is he asking me that? And like he actually cares, on top of it.

'Fine...' Silence gathers for a moment before I realise I'm meant to ask it back. 'You?'

'I've been well, thanks.'

Elliot chews his lip as he tries to come up with summat to say. It's weird. He used to never have issues with that. He talked non-stop actually! That might've been why he liked being around me because I never said shit meaning he got free reign to ramble.

'Is that your brother?'

I follow his line of sight over my shoulder to Nicolás. He sits in the front row where a teacher cleared space for Caleb's wheelchair. They wave when I look and I immediately turn back to Elliot, though his attention is still affixed to them.

When did I even tell Elliot I have a brother? I went to this school during a time when I barely saw the bloke, I couldn't've brought it up in owt more than a throwaway comment.

Makes sense for Elliot to be surprised that Nicolás is here. I doubt I painted a picture where Nicolás is enthusiastic about attending my maths olympiad competitions. I still don't understand why he's here.

I still don't understand why he'd want me to live with him. He's got mates and foster parents he likes—what could he possibly need me for? I'm not the brother he might miss from when we were kids, never gonna be. And people always say blood don't make family.

'About the...' I lower my voice as Elliot's focus shifts back to me, 'you know. I shouldn't've done that.'

'It's okay. Well, no, it were well fucked up. I still don't get why–'

'It weren't personal,' I interrupt, returning to the monotonicity that has started to slip. 'But I told ya, I don't do mates.'

The twist of his face don't wake Beewolf but it wakes summat worse. He's pitying me.

I step back. 'Hope you've got better ones now.'

Elliot smiles. 'I have. I've got some champion friends. Maybe you'll find some too.'

'Don't think so.' I drag another step backwards. 'Erm... I should go before my brother does summat more embarrassing than be here. Good luck. With your... life.'

I swivel around before he can wish me the same in return.

Caleb is picking all the pistachios out of Nicolás's nut mix when I join them. Nicolás bounces to his feet and–

What if he kills you?

I jerk away. (What if he kills me? What if he kills me?) He tucks his hands behind his back and makes do with expressing his overdone joy with a smile and talking way too much.

'Can we leave?' I cut in.

'You don't wanna say owt to your team?'

'No–'

He has already called Diwa over. I have had enough of this social butterfly nonsense. What's wrong with doing the thing we came here to do and going home?

Diwa tugs at her hair as she comes over. I try to telepathically tell her that she don't have to humour the git but the message don't get through.

'Congratulations. You lot should be proud of yourselves—you did well! Onto the finals then, eh?'

Her lips twitch. 'Yeah, I'm excited.'

'Your folks didn't make it?'

She shakes her head.

'D'you need a ride home? We can take you–'

'No,' I hiss, 'no podemos. She don't wanna sit in a car with me.'

Nicolás ignores me. 'We can drop by the chippy.'

I can tell she's about to reject the offer. Because she knows I'm evil, especially after what I did to Elliot and she knows there's nowt to stop me from doing summat much worse with her. Like murdering her and throwing her body in the Manchester canal.

But then Diwa nods. 'That would be well nice actually.'

Notes

No podemos: No, we can't.