Your Last Breath

e. Home Is Just a Burial Ground

Michael POV
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Empty bottles litter the ground around me. I take another drink of a half empty one. The pain ebbs but never fades away. I've been drinking for two days straight. Once I knew Nina would be okay and was released from the hospital I retreated. I hid.

I wish you were here man... I thought to Luke as I took another drink. He would know how to handle this. I looked around the rundown shack I had holed up in the last couple days. We found this place as kids. It was a safe place. No one would find me.

I threw the liquor bottle against the wall and watched it shatter into a thousand pieces. The toxic liquid inside dripped down the wall. I grabbed another bottle of something and opened it. Smelled strong so I took a drink. I almost gagged on the burning in my throat.

After I emptied that bottle I passed out. My drunken dreams were something most psychiatrists would say we're the imaginings of a mad man. I guess the loss of your best friend can make you go a little crazy.

In my dream I was in the house, but I wasn't alone. Nina sat in the middle of the floor crying. Nina don't cry. He wouldn't want us to cry. I put my hand to her cheek. She looked up at me confused then she was gone. I turned around to look for her but all I saw was a nine year old Luke. Why did you leave us? I questioned angrily. The little boy coward then began to cry. I quickly hugged him and cried too but when I opened my eye he wasn't little and he wasn't crying. You need to take care of them. He told me sternly. I can't even take care of myself. He put a familiar friendly hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. I'm not gone, was all he said before suddenly vanishing.

I sprang awake suddenly, out of breath and disoriented. It took me a moment to remember where I was. Luke voice rang in my ears I'm not gone. What does that even mean? I shoved my phone into my pocket and ran my fingers through my hair. I need to go see Liz, I tell myself and start heading toward the hospital. My clothing are wrinkled and a little dirty and I know I look like a mess. People keep staring.

I got to the hospital and went to information. "Visiting for Hemmings." The nurse nodded and I walked down a long hallway. I kept my head down and my hands in my pockets. This was harder each time.

I walked into room 145 for the third time since the accident. The smell of antiseptic burned my nose and made me gag. The white walls felt like a prison. It was claustrophobic.

"Hi Liz." I whispered. A frail woman holding the hand of her long gone son looked up at me with the most broken smile.

Liz couldn't bare to let go. She could swear he was still alive and wouldn't let them take Luke off life support. He was declared brain dead moments after reaching the hospital. He was gone but she couldn't let go. I refused to look at the lifeless body that once was my best friend. It didn't even look like him anymore. It was too thin with hair too flat. They had taken his lip ring out and his blue eyes were perminently shut. It wasn't Luke anymore.

"Hi baby... did you come to see Luke? They say visiters help coma patients." Liz had delusioned herself into thinking he was in a coma.

I gave her a weak forced smile. "Yeah I also came to see you. How are you feeling? Have you eaten today?" She looked at the clock suddenly remembering that noon meant lunch.

"Well my goodness I must have lost track of time." She said absently.

"I'll go get us something Liz." I left the room. If I didn't check on her she'd go all day without eating until someone showed up. Sometimes Luke's brothers would come but it's hard to see your dead brother everyday. His dad came more often, but Liz's delusion made him angry.

I walked down the hospital hallways until I reached the cafeteria. I grabbed two ham and cheese sandwiches, a bag of chips, and a bottle of water. As I was walking back a familiar voice called my name and I cringed.

"Hey man where have you been?" Ashton said out of breath when he finally caught up to me.

"Around." I said with a shrug. I could feel his eyes on me taking in the mess I was.
"You smell like booze." He gave me a look that has disappointment and fear all over it. I didn't answer.

"Nina has been asking about you..." Ashton said after a moment of quiet. My heart fell into my stomach.

She didn't need to know about Luke we had all decided. She wouldn't understand. She wouldn't be able to handle it. I couldn't lie to her though... She was in so much pain already.

I just shrugged though and walked into Luke's room. Ashton slowly and reluctantly followed me. Liz looked up and smiled. I placed the food on the tray next to her and took one of the sandwiches for myself. Ashton wouldn't look at the boy in the bed. Neither would I. Liz didn't take her eyes off him.

"Lukey baby. Your friends are here... please wake up and say hi..." she pleaded quietly. I sighed and took a bite put of my sandwich and looked out the window.

Ashton stayed a bit longer talking to Liz and trying to talk to me. I ignored him mostly and just focused on the helicopters and ambulances bringing in more people. Soon they'd need this room... soon someone would have to tell Liz her son will never wake up.

"Well I have to go. I promised Nina I'd take her put for a little bit today. She needs some sun. Michael you're welcome to join us." I just shrugged and he sighed. He kissed Liz's cheek and lightly brushed Luke's hand without actually looking at him.

"I should go too Liz." I said when he was gone.

She nodded absently. I hugged her and kissed her cheek before taking one more look at the motionless body laying a couple feet from me.

"Bye, man..." I whispered. I hung my head and exited the room.

I had made the decision to go home finally. My mom is probably scared out of her mind. I ran my hand through my hair and I could feel it stay in the position I pushed it to. I hadn't showered in a couple days. I knew I was pretty gross at this point but I guess when you hurt this bad it doesn't matter.

I passed Nina's house on my way home and I could see Ashton in her room tell her something. She was smiling. At first her smile made me smile, but then I got angry. How could she smile. Luke was dead. There was no reason to smile. Ever again.

Pissed off I walked home and entered my house. My parents were both at work so I went and showered before crawling into bed. Sleep was the only thing I did well amymore.