Your Last Breath

d. Stitches

    I was in the hospital for three days before they finally released me. I had a cast on my right arm and stitches in my back. I was told we were hit by someone who had been texting instead of paying attention to where they were driving. He had swerved into our lane and Luke quickly turned to avoid him. He hit Luke's driver side and we flipped four times before a tree stopped us. The driver of the other vehicle suffered minor injuries. Luke died. I lived.

    "Does anyone know who he was?" I had asked when Ashton came to visit me at home the next day.

    "Not really he was from out of town. His name was Calum, but that's all we know." He had told me.

    "Where's Michael?" I asked after a moment of silence.

    "We don't really know..." he told me with a worried look on his face.

    "What do you mean? Like he just disapeared?" I asked shocked that anyone could let a teenage boy just walk away.

    "He just took off. The day they released you he vanished. No one has seen him since yesterday." He said with a shrug.

    Ashton left after a couple hours and I was alone. Luke never let me be alone in this house at night. It was the first time I felt scared in my own home. I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling imagining what I'd be doing if Luke was still here.

    Let's watch a movie. He'd say with his soft low voice. I'd put something stupid in like Mean Girls or Spiderman and he'd cuddle me close when I got to the bed. He'd play with my hair and rub circles on my back as I fell asleep against his chest.

    I cried myself to sleep that night since the strongest boy I knew wasn't around to hold me together. However he appeared in my dream.

    I stood in the middle of a clearing similar to the one Luke and I went to to view the stars. I was alone but I wasn't scared even though it was pitch black outside with no stars just a small sliver of moon. Slowly a figure emerged from the treeline. I waited until my eyes adjusted enough to see who it was. The tall slender figure was so familiar, but when I saw his blue eyes I was engulfed in an overwhelming happiness. Lucas, I've missed you. He pulled me into his arms and his touch was like coming home. When are you coming back? I ask him as he strokes my hair. I can't come back Nina. I pull back to look at him confused. He starts to fade and panic rises inside me. I try to grab for him but I can't reach him. Please don't be scared. I love you Nina Holly forever and ever. Then he was gone. I crumpled to the ground and sobbed until an oddly familiar voice makes me look up. Please don't cry. Michael stands in front of me except it's a younger Michael. Please don't cry. He doesn't want us to cry. The little boy places a cold hand on my cheek.

    I wake up suddenly. The sun is shinning through my window and my entire body feels very sore. I have woken up sore every day since the crash. The only thing that doesn't stop aching as the day goes is my chest. It feels as if though someone has cut deep into me and won't let me heal. My mom comes into my room just then with a cup of warm tea, some homemade waffles and pain pills I'm not allowed access to.

    "Here sweety, I have to go to work soon. Do you need anything?" She asks placing the plate and cup down on my bedside table.

    I shook my head no and she cups my face. "It'll get better." She kisses my cheek and exits the room.

    I stare at the food for a long time before tearing off a pice off waffle and soaking it in my tea. I let it get soft enough that I don't have to chew then swallow the piece whole. I do this a few more times then take my pills and leave the rest of the food untouched. I only eat what I need to take my medications and no more. I lay in bed for three hours unmoving. A soft tapping on my window catches my attention and I look toward the glass. A butterfly repeatedly threw itself at the glass. I watched until the disoriented bug finally fell lifeless to the sill. I'd never witnessed a living thing kill itself before that moment.

    I thought about that butterfly until Ashton came by around 2 in the afternoon.

    "How are you?" He asks sitting at the foot of my bed.

     I just stare at him blankly for a few moments and he nods. I catch him eyeing my waffles worriedly.

    "Are you eating?" He asks looking me up and down. I've lost 27 pounds since the accident.

    "Only what I need." I reply with a sigh.

    "Do you think you might need ice cream? Because I think we both need ice cream." He said with a small smile.

    I sighed again but pulled myself out of bed. Ashton helped me pull off my shirt and slip on a clean one. He had been helping me get dressed and undressed since the accident.

    "Do they hurt real bad?" He asked as he slipped a clean t-shirt over my head.

    "I don't feel them much." I shrug my good shoulder and he nods.

    "So you've been around a lot lately, but I haven't seen Lacey around." I absent mindedly tried to make conversation as Ashton drove to the ice cream parlor.

    "I haven't really seen her much since prom." He said quietly.

    "Everything alright?" I questioned as we parked.

    He paused as he removed his seatbelt, then shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry about us." Was all he said.

    We walked inside and I quickly claimed a corner booth in the back. Ashton walked to the counter to order for us while I basically hid from all the stares and whispers.

    In small towns you're never safe. Everyone knew why my arm was in and sling. Everyone knew why I wasn't wearing make up and my hair wasn't brushed. Everyone knew why my eyes were permenantly red and puffy. Everyone knew Luke was dead, but no one said a word.