Dominating Secrets [BDSM]DISCONTINUED

CHAPT3R TW3NTY ON3

another update :D ill fix the mistakes ans spelling errors later.

It's been a week since me and Matthew go together, and it's going good. The only nagging feeling is the fact that I want to jump him when I see him but that agitation isn't one sided. I know this is hard for him but I need to make sure he doesn't just want me for my body. I know he said he didn't but I need to see that rather than hear it. I've been lied to too many times before and I want to trust him again. I love him and I hope over time he can love me back. I'm not saying I'm over what he did but I think I'm almost there. The marks are practically gone just a few scrapings here and there.

I know he's changing allot for me so for the first time in a long time I've slept with him every night since he agreed to try. It's not a walk in the park and I wake up crying but it's getting easier. The one thing that gets difficult is his erection walking me up each morning. Sometimes my body automatically grinds on him, the soft groan he lets out and the thrust of his hips makes my body heat like never before. We're trying and that's all that matters.

It's about six in the morning and I'm staring up at the ceiling with him draped around me like a vine. He looks so peaceful. His pink lips are slightly parted letting out soft breaths. His long black eye lashes kiss his cheeks and his hair is slightly pushed back. I've missed him. I light run my hand threw his hair and soft blue eyes meet mine. There so beautiful, he's beautiful. He pushes his erection into me and a soft gasp escapes my lips. His eyes flash with lust and something else I can't place.

"Good morning" I grin.

"Morning, did you sleep okay?" I nod.

"I know this might go against the rules but I would really like to kiss you" my eyes flicker down to his lips and my lips beg to feel his, it's been so long.

 I nod leaning down to kiss his. His lips press against mine and I can help but pull him closer. I don't know how but I end up straddling him. It's a bad idea because my t- shirt rolls up and the tent in his boxers is welcoming my core. I moan as he bites down on my lip, pulling softly. His hands move to the back of my neck and the other cupping my chin. Still in charge I mentally smirk. The hand on the back of my neck moves to my ass squeezing lightly, my head tips back and he sucks on my neck like his life depends on it. God if this is the closest we can come to sex then I'll take it. He kisses along my neck until he finds the spot that makes me moan. My body becoming his as it start to grind on him.

"M-matt we can't" I pant. My hands tighten on his hair and he groans. I don't know if it's from the hair pulling or that fact that I won't let him go any further. He pulls away and if I'm not mistaken his lips curve into a smile.

"Your such a temptress"

"And you are very seductive man" he grins kissing me swiftly.

"I don't want to get you upset but I need to know" know what?

"Okay" my voice is small and breathless. It sound more of a question but I wait for him to answer.

"I need to know why you didn't safe word" oh... I frown. I wanted to... but I just couldn't.

"When you first started to hit me I thought I could take it, but it got harder and it started to hurt... really hurt. By the tenth one I wanted to, so badly but I wanted to take it for you. I could hear you groaning and sighs of relief. I knew you wanted it I did it because I love you"

"You got so angry after" he whispers. His voice drops and my heart constricts.

"I felt so used, and broken. And I didn't see you anymore I saw my father. When you touched me my body cringed. I didn't want anything to do with you because I saw the monster he was in you and I knew if I stayed you would never understand what you did wrong."