Insecurity
I rinsed my hair using the white towel when I went out of the bathroom. Napansin ko agad na may pagkain na sa table, at mukhang lumabas ulit siya. The plating looked satisfying. Dalawang plato ang nakahanda. The steak was laced with butter, a rosemary on top of it, while on the side were the string beans and broccoli. The other plate was the mashed potato with chopped parsley.
May juice din siyang inihanda. I took a sip of it, and it's fresh orange juice. I dragged the chair off the table and glanced at the side to find him, but he's really not around.
I sliced the steak, and he perfectly cooked it. It's medium rare. Inilagay ko sa topless kong balikat ang puting towel at kumain. I wonder if he also prepared something for himself. Marami 'yung nakita kong dala niya kanina at mukhang may mga binili pa siya maliban doon sa mga gulay.
After eating, the girl visited the room to get the plates. Doon din ako nagtanong kung nasaan si Kael.
"Ah... nasa dalampasigan po. Naglalakad-lakad. Mukhang naninigarilyo," aniya habang tinatanggap ang mga plato at baso.
Weird. As far as I know, he only smokes when he's thinking a lot of things. Curious about it, I grabbed my navy blue jacket and went out of the room.
Nakita ko nga siya sa dalampasigan. Nakayuko roon, malayo ang tingin at naninigarilyo. I cleared my throat and walked toward his side.
He side-eyed me. I stopped a meter away from him, put my hands in the pocket of my boardwalk shorts, and looked at the soft crashing of the waves.
"Do you still have a cigar?" I asked.
He glared for a bit, puffed it, and blew it while looking up. Malamig ang hangin at naaamoy ko ang usok ng sigarilyo niya.
Akala ko hindi ako bibigyan, but when he took out the pack out of his pocket and tossed it to my feet, I calmed down and picked it up. Kumuha ako ng isa, inilagay ko sa gitna ng labi, at hinintay na maghahagis din siya ng lighter.
"Wala. Nakisindi lang ako sa kusina," he pointed out coldly.
Lumingon ako sa likod. It's too far. Nilingon ko ang hinihithit niya kaya naglakad ako lalo palapit. He remained crouching down when I stopped on his side and handed him my cig.
He looked up, his eyes a bit glaring. I tilted my head and smiled a little.
When he puffed his cigarette again, I pinned the tip of mine until it was slowly consumed by the fire. Ibinalik ko iyon sa gitna ng labi ko at hinithit habang nakatingin na sa dagat.
He moved a bit away from me without standing. I glanced at him, blew out the smoke, and chuckled.
"Gusto ni Dad na magkasundo tayo," sabi ko.
"Paano magkakasundo kung ang yabang mo?" he answered thickly with his furrowed brows.
I licked my lips and puffed my cigarette again. I can't remember why I punched him when I was a kid. Hindi ko alam kung naaalala niya rin ba, pero kahit pa matagal na 'yon, mainit din ang dugo namin sa isa't isa kahit noong Grade Twelve pa lang ako at nagsosoccer.
"At ang init ng ulo mo. We both know each other since our soccer days. You almost punched me," I reminded.
"Eh, tanga ka maglaro. Natatamaan mo na 'yung ibang teammates natin."
I scratched my head and chuckled. "Ah... during that time. May nabalitaan kasi ako no'n sa US. Medyo na-occupied ako. I kinda hated living here back in those days since I was used to the environment in the US, but my mom threw me here... Nag-a-adjust pa lang ako no'n kaya hirap makisama."
