The Transfer Students From Hell

Chapter 5

Ulquiorra walked back into the house, looking like he'd lost his way in life.

"Man, you look like shit. Where the hell did you just come from?"

Ulquiorra looked up to see Grimmjow in his pajama pants, shirtless, drinking a juice box. He looked rather ridiculous but Ulquiorra chose not to voice his opinion at this moment.

"I went to the café with Orihime."

"Princess? What the hell's with the look on your face then?"

"I-she-we..."

"Did you fuck her!?"

"No, I'm not a pig like you Grimmjow."

"I'm not a pig, I'm a guy. But forget that what happened?"

Before he could respond Nel came bounding down the stairs and pounced on Ulquiorra.

"Oh my god! Our little boy finally has a girlfriend!"

Grimmjow spit out the juice in his mouth and stared at Ulquiorra.

"You're dating the little princess?! How the hell did that happen!?"

The raven haired male pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

"I'm not quite sure, I went to meet her at the café because she said she was bored and the next thing I know we're at the park, holding hands."

He sighed loudly as he removed Nel from him.

"If you're mean to her I'm gunna beat your butt. And Nnoi will help!"

"It seems the time has come. Nnoitra get down here! It's time for 'the talk'!"

Grimmjow yelled up the stairs as he grabbed Ulquiorra's arm and took him in to the living room, soon followed by Nnoitra and Nel.

"The time has finally come. We need to teach you about woman."

The four of them sat down on the couch as Nel, Nnoitra, and Grimmjow began telling Ulquiorra what he'd need to know in order to keep a girlfriend. What started as just the four of them soon became a family meeting.

The whole family, save Stark who was asleep, was seated in the living room, adding in bits and pieces of relationship advice. Ulquiorra found it all pointless, seeing as half of his family (Nnoitra, Grimmjow, Aizen and Gin) was contradicting the other half (Nel, Harribiel, Lillinet, and Szayela).

In the end of it all the only thing he learned about having a relationship was that it was difficult and troublesome.

XXX

The next day school had gone fairly well, none of Orihime's friends finding her clinginess towards Ulquiorra all that odd considering she was like that to most everyone from time to time. After the school day was over Grimmjow found himself at a loss. He never really considered himself gay, but then again he never considered himself not gay. The day he met Ichigo all he could think was 'I'd love to tap that.' Which, of course, was about as romantic as he could get. He'd tried dropping hints, saying things that would have had a girl all over him within seconds but none of that worked, so now he had no idea how to get that damned Strawberry to go out with him. He decided to use his last resort.

XXX

"Um, Grimmjow I don't think Ichigo dates boys."

Orihime said timidly, feeling sorry for the blue haired man before him.

"Hime, what the hell are you talking? Ichigo's the gayest person I've ever met!"

"You obviously haven't met Szayela"