See You Soon, Little One

Chapter 4

3:41 am. I was awake and on Tumblr as usual. But then I got a text from Lisa.

"Charlie. Let me start off by saying I'm sorry. I've been a burden to you, I've taken up so much of your time that you could be using to study or get a job. I've always relied on you to hold me up, I thought you could fix me. And we both know that you thought you could fix me too.
But that was never going to happen, some people in this world are too broken and they can't be fixed. No amount of ice cream or tea or warm blankets could fix me and I'm sorry that I let you become my friend.
I'm sorry that I led you to become too emotionally invested in me, when I knew there was no hope. I should have saved you all of this pain because I have known for a very long time that I will never be happy, and I can't drag other people down with me.

So it's on this night that I say goodbye. To you, to my family and to the sad life I would have to live if I carried on. I'm sorry, again for the unnecessary pain I caused you."

I finished reading and felt my heart break. Time seemed to slow down as I tried to stand up and get my shoes on. I had to help her, I had to call someone and stop the love of my life from making a huge mistake. She didn't even know how I felt!

I got one shoe on before I collapsed against my wardrobe and fell to the floor sobbing. I scrambled to my feet and got my other shoe and ran to Lisa's house as fast as my legs would take me.

I banged on the door and was met by two very angry parents. I told them what Lisa sent me and they ran up the stairs to the bathroom and Lisa's dad kicked the door in.

I will never forget what I saw on that night. The girl I loved was lying dead, propped up against the wall with a bottle of pills in her hand.

The rest was a blur. Someone called an ambulance. They came and took her away, I wanted to go too but they wouldn't let me. Family only.

Lisa's mum phoned my mum and told her everything while I cried and begged someone to take me to the hospital to see her. But they wouldn't let me.

Mum made me go home and rest. I sat in my room and cried myself to sleep until the horrible nightmares of what I had just witnessed woke me up again.

In the morning they let me go to the hospital, where a nurse sat me down and said that "Lisa passed peacefully in the night"

This made me angry  maybe it was the shock or the grief, but I started screaming at the nurse. "Peacefully?! She was not at fucking peace!! She was so depressed that she took her own life!"

"Please, you're upsetting the other patients." She said, trying to calm me down.

"I don't care! You're saying that she was at peace! She hasn't been at peace for the past two fucking years! And nobody cares! Not anyone!" I screamed.

Mum sat with me as my screams turned to sobs, and my sobs turned to silence. I sat and I realised that I would never see Lisa again. Not when the sunlight shone through her hair, and not when she smiled and giggled. Not ever.

That night they let me see her. She was laid out on a bed, with her hair brushed but not the way she liked it. Her face was cold, her cheeks unblushing.

A tear fell from my eyes as I kissed her forehead and whispered "See you soon, little one."