Keep Your Head Up *Ethan Dolan*

1

~ Raina ~

"No one would even care if I didn't show up to school tomorrow." I whisper, cutting into my arm.
"No one would fucking care." I say, making another, slightly deeper slit into my wrist.
"They hate me at school. They don't like me. No one would care if I never returned to school. No one at all." One more cut.
I begin to cry softly. "It would be so easy to just end it all right now." I hold the blade to my wrist once more, slitting it slightly. I watch the blood flow down my arm and under the flow of water coming from the shower head above me. "God, why am I such a fuck up at life?" I ask, tilting my head back to look at the ceiling.
I stare down at the blood that drips slowly from my wrist, watching as it mixes with the water, changing the color of the water from clear to clear with a pinkish tint. I smile a bit in satisfaction and place the blade once more to my wrist, applying pressure and making a cut directly on one of my scars. It begins to bleed a lot more than I intended it to and I feel my heart begin to beat faster.
"Shit, shit, shit." I can't help but say. "I didn't mean to do that. Stop..." I cover the cut, trying to get it to stop but it won't. "Fuck. No....." I lean out the shower and grab a washcloth and press it hard to my wrist. "C'mon..... Stop." I watch as my blood soaks through the washcloth in a matter of seconds. "No. No. No." I can't go like this. I can't.
I frantically look around the cupboards for the medical tape and gauze and find it after a couple of minutes. I remove the washcloth from my wrist and immediately stick the gauze to my arm and wrap it in the medical tape. I sigh in relief when I see it's not soaking through anymore..... I wring the washcloth out and climb back into the shower and finish my shower. I slide down the shower wall and sit with my back to the water. "I almost died..... I almost killed myself." I cry a bit.
After a couple minutes, I recover and get out of my shower, wrapping a red fluffy towel around my body and a smaller matching one around my head. I feel dizzy.
I change quickly and head back into my room checking my phone. My lock screen stares back at me. Wow.... No notifications. No texts from anyone. No anything.
I throw my phone towards my bed and head down the stairs to the kitchen in search of a little food to help me not be dizzy. I don't find anything exciting to eat so I instead pull out a bottle of water from the fridge. Next to the fridge I find a note from my creators.

Adraina-
Your mother and I are going on a trip and we'll be gone about a week or two. There's 300 in the jar to help hold you over until we get back. We love you and we'll see you when we return.

Love,
Dad

I roll my eyes. If they really loved me they'd be home more. They'd actually take care of me like normal PARENTS do. Instead they treat me like shit and practically neglect me. I could freaking die and they wouldn't even notice or begin to care that I did. I go to the Honey Bear shaped cookie jar on the counter and open it, digging below the cookies to the small bundle of money beneath it. I pull it out and take it into my room and hide it in my dresser.
I'm SO glad I have such caring parents. Maybe if I had parents like that, my life wouldn't be this bad.
I flop down on my bed and stare blankly up at the ceiling. God, I really don't wanna go to school tomorrow but I know that I have to.

A/N  This entire story is dedicated to quietlysensitive because i've been promising her an ethan dolan fanfic for the past 2 months i think. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FIC AUDIYA! sorry if it's depressing :( love you! 

Also to anyone else reading this, i hope you enjoyed it! :) love you all be sure to comment and vote thanks guys.

-GraysonBaeDolan <3

p.s. yes the girl is Raina. lol