jeffrey eli miller imagines ♡

Finding out the truth

-This imagine goes out to autumnquick ☺ i really hope you like it ♡♡♡♡-

1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4 cut, 5 cut!! i sliced the blade really tight on a medium fast speed sursprisingly i didnt hit a vain. Yet. Sometimes i wanna die & just never wanna be here & be lefted to disappear & never come back, it's funny when people don't see or undetstand your situation & assume everythings fine when in reality it's not , your broken inside you try fighting the tears & the pain But it hurts .

you think you sound stupid for crying the wrost cry the cry when u feel like you cant breathe your stomach starts to tighten & you feel like you'll pass out at any minute .. you wanna gasp for air but cant because how bad & how much pain your having .

when i started cutting i had to say it HURT! alot i got used to it after many years , i cut for so many reasons people may not understand why or they just think its stupid .

I cut to let the pain wash away & see my own blood bleed wishing ill just pass out & never wake up but one thing just stops me & that's jeffrey ☺ No he doesnt no i cut & i dont plan on telling him . i know its wrong but he cant no i dont want him hurt or him be mad at me i just cant take that chance of maybe loosing him or even worse forever.

im just an ordinary girl with brown hair & boring ugly eyes i dont know why jeffrey loves me so much i mean look at me, im fat & ugly i should just die .

My names autumn welcome to my world of hell

*Next morning**

"Honey jeffrey's here!" My mom calls out

" okay! i'll be down in just a bit!" i call out

i rush over to the bathroom & grab my makeup suppiles & pull up my sleves & grab my fountain an, press powder to cover my scars i made last night , i just dab & dab till all of it couldnt be shown .

" autumn?" i heard jeffrey start to come up the stairs

i grab my makeup kit & threw it under the sink

" Hey u ready?"

" yep!" i smile just to make everything seem alright

i drag him by his arm & run out the door

" Bye mom!!"

i slamed the door befor she could even answer.

" so wat do u wanna do today?"

" i was thinking that water park that just opened over near that pizza place."

ugh i didnt really wanna get wet he might find out the truth .. i have this nervousness in my stomach that today was gonna be a bad day . i think.

i grab my bathing suit jeffrey handed me & went over to the girl's room , i went to a stall an changed .

i looked at my scars to see if they were starting to reappear
.

Oh No the fountain & powder are starting to fade .. uhh uhh wat to do wat to do!!

i just covered my wrist while walking out & waited outside for jeffrey to finish watever he was doing in the men's room .

**3 minutes later**

" ready to get wet?" he seemed really excited

i giggled " yay"

he literally made me run with him to the water park i mean it was pretty cool place they had water buckets & just reulary sprinklers ..

we started out going to the sprinklers & then just to the water buckets that fill with water & dump on u which i thought it was fun!

but i was worried it kepted throwing water every second but hard enough for the makeup to go away .

i looked at it but it wasnt showing so much which i was happy

we kepted at it at the water buckets till jeffrey pointed out something..

" um autumn wats that on ur wrist?"

uhhh damn he knows!!

" uhh. uhh nothing." i cover it quick

" its not nothing autumn. why are there cuts on ur wrist?"

" i just fell." i nervous smile

" Oh yeah? i dont believe u."
he grabs my wrist lightly & we sit at the benches , he grabs my wrist & studies my scars for a moment

" why do u do this to your self beautiful?" he looks in my eyes which seemed to be in tears

" dont call me that.."

" wat beautiful? "

i nod

" you dont think ur beautiful??" he had a shocked epression

" im not its true im ugly & fat i just wanna die..u could have any girl in the world but u choose me the ugly one im not pretty at all i dont see it."

he looked bizzare shocked

" listen autumn i choose u because your amazing , everything about u amazes me i would never ever leave u for another girl . i choose u because i love u i wanna spend my whole life with u & u hurting your beautiful skin hurts me because thinking your not pretty or beautiful or that u wanna die . just kills me if u died ill die with u , im not leaving u not now not ever .. im gonna be here right by your side princess plz dont ever do this .. next time tell me u dont need to hide im not gonna be mad or leave u & its me & u baby "

i look at him & smile this is the boy i fell inlove with ☺♡♡ & i couldnt be even more happier
..

** years later**

i stoped cutting & started to be so much postivite & not think so negative it was pretty hard to tell my mom since she was in tears crying , but i feel better like a new me has bloossmed . i have my new therpist nicole & my mentour who takes me places & talks to me just too relax my mind & just chill ☺ my lifes awesome & guys if u struggle with cutting or anything harmful plz stop u are loved ur beautiful inside in out even if u dont see it yourself, but u will ♡♡ be brave & be strong u have power & strenght keep ur head up ♡♡