Brothers

Chapter 10 - Angry and Alone

Ryan was sitting on the couch next to me. I sat quietly while he was thinking about whatever he was thinking about. My arm stung and I wanted to put my jacket back on but he had taken it off and thrown in on the floor. My breathing was now unsteady, thanks to crying, and when I swallowed my throat hurt.

"Ryan?"

He took a deep breath and turned his body towards me. "Yes, Nick?" I wanted to say sorry and that I hadn't meant what I had done but words didn't form in my mouth.

"Are you mad?" I was aware of my voice cracking.

"No, no of course not." He had a look of worry on his face. "I'm just... Very confused. And honestly, a little afraid."

"I'm sorry." My voice was low and I could feel the tears ready to start again.

"Don't be, you didn't mean it." He reached forwards and pulled me into him, while I let silent tears roll down my face when he couldn't see. We stayed in that position for a minute when there was a knock on the door. Ryan looked up at the door and then let go of me. I picked up my hoodie and quickly slid it onto me. I didn't want to be seen, no matter who it was, so I stepped back into the hallway that led to the bedroom and bathroom.

The door creaked open and Ryan greeted whoever it was in a friendly way, meaning he knew them. "Hey!"

"Hi Ryan!" It was Kate speaking. She always showed up at the worst of times. "Can I come in?"

"Oh yeah, sure, of course." I was still in the hallway, if she came in and looked to her left she was bound to see me. I quickly went into the bedroom and closed the door with a slight slam.

"What was that?" She said as the front door closed too.

"Nick." I sighed, annoyed with Ryan. He really needed to shut up.

"Why?" It went silent and I prayed he wouldn't tell her.

"Oh, well, something just happened."

"What?" I heard her heels coming closer and dove behind the bed where she wouldn't be able to see me.

"Wait, don't-" But it was too late for Ryan to stop her, she had the door open already.

"I just heard noise. Where is he?" Just as I predicted, she came over to behind the bed and stared at me. "Oh my! Are you OK?"

I glared at her and pushed myself off the floor. Without giving an answer, I stood by Ryan who was still outside the room looking dumbfounded. I clutched his arm and hoped he would get the sense I didn't want her, or anyone else here.

"Um, why did you come over again?"

"Oh ya, I was just seeing how you two fit in here." She came closer and I pulled Ryan out of the hallway. Without even trying to stop me he let himself come with me. Kate didn't notice a thing and continued to follow us.

"Well, we're doing great." Ryan told her.

"Why were you crying? Still don't like it here?" She had bent down and was looking at me like I was 5.

I wanted to scream, but I knew Ryan would definitely not like that.

"Why don't I make us dinner." He said, brushing me off of him. I stood halfway in the kitchen and halfway in the living room.

"Sure, thanks." Kate took off her heels and then came over to me. I was to unsure of what to do to move. "Hey little guy, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine." I said with more resent than I had meant to.

"You don't look fine."

I was about to get even angrier when both her and I jumped. Ryan had just grabbed her shoulder with quite a bit of force out of no where, and moved her back a bit.

"Whoa, what was that for?" She looked very surprised.

"Leave him alone." He said bitterly. She looked even more surprised that he would talk that way to her.

"Don't make me dinner, I'm not hungry." I sounded very angry and I slammed the door of the bedroom even harder. I wished I had music that I could blast into my ears to drown everything out. I buried my face into the covers on the bed and glared at nothing with my eyes closed. I was mad at everything.

I listened to what the two would talk about but I just heard hushed voices. They were whispering and Ryan was probably telling Kate about what I had done. Angrily, I slammed my hands into the bed and hoisted myself upright. I ripped open the door and came to stand at the end of the hallway, facing the kitchen.

"Don't talk about me!" I screeched on the top of my lungs. Ryan stared at me with bewilderment on his face. Kate was nowhere in sight and Ryan had the stove on.

"What?"

"Where's Kate...?" I felt embarressed.

"She just left, didn't you hear the door?" I must have been to angry to notice. "Why so mad?"

I shrugged and then fell onto the floor next to the coffee table. We didn't have chairs.

"Are you OK? You've been acting strange."

"Did you tell her?" I changed the subject.

"About you? No. Now tell me what's up."

"Why does she always have to be around you?" I was frowning at the table.

"She's my girlfriend." He raised his voice slightly. "I told her to leave... For you."

"Why?"

"I thought you wanted-"

"Why me?" I burst out.

"What?"

"Why me? Why is everything about me!?" I yelled.

"It's... not?" Ryan said, confused.

"Ugh!" I groaned and stood again. "I hate this! I hate everything!" I moved back into the bedroom, with an even larger slam. Ryan went silent in the kitchen.

I realised I had said that I hated everything, which I hadn't meant to say. I hadn't fully been thinking it in my head but now I knew I did think that. I hated everything that had happened to me recently and I hated everything and everyone around me.

Ryan opened the door a crack. "Are you sure-"

"YES!" I shrieked at him without letting him finish. He mouthed "OK" and then closed the door again.

I began to feel very lonely, but I wasn't sure why. I wanted everyone away from me but without them I felt lost, like I just had a blanket taken from me.