Brothers

Chapter 12 - First Kiss

Thankfully no one else spoke to me until Ryan got back. I spotted him walking towards the building and I climbed down off the monkey-bars that attached to the place's playground.

"Hey, why are you out here?" Ryan finally got close enough to talk to me.

"No reason." I said without tone. I couldn't give anything away or he would figure me out soon enough.

"Um, OK then. Let's get back in then." I followed him back up through the building, into the elevator, and to the room.

"Hungry?" He asked as he sat on the floor and pulled off his tie and shoes.

"Very."

"What, did you eat nothing all day?" Truthfully, I hadn't. I had left the apartment at 9 without breakfast and it was now 1 in the afternoon.

"Um, not really."

He sighed and I regretted telling him the truth. "If you're going to be here on your own a lot, you need to actually make food sometimes." He had gotten his shoes into the corner and thrown his tie onto his pile of clothing he didn't have a place for yet.

I stayed quiet. He threw together some baloney sandwiches and we sat at the table.

"Today was just great." He said with sarcasm. "I had three interviews for jobs and those people are so serious. I'm pretty sure I ruined my chances at a job at a mechanics because I joked about oil." He laughed.

I made a snort-type-noise to acknowledge what he had said but I was to lost in thought to really care. I debated whether I should say what I wanted or not.

"So how was your day?" He nudged my leg with his foot and I refocused my eyes.

"Oh, it was OK. I met some girl."

"Some girl hm?" Ryan grinned. "Was she pretty?"

"Shut up. I'm not like interested or anything, she just wanted to talk."

"About what?"

I sighed. I wasn't annoyed, and it's not like I didn't want to tell Ryan. I had just sighed for no apparent reason.

"OK, I see you're not in the mood to talk. I'll just, you know, leave you alone." Sounding slightly hurt, he stood from the tiny table and went out onto the balcony.

The thought of what was obvious suicide came back to me and I watched my older brother slouch against the rails. Eventually he came in, when the sun had finished setting and the air was cool.

"I have to do more interviews tomorrow." Ryan said as he passed me. I was sitting on the couch, staring off into space once again.

"You do?"

"Ya, I have to do more that three though." I didn't want to be left here alone again though. "Do you want me to come sleep in the bed with you?"

I stared at him. That was supposed to be something unspoken. I was supposed to come out each night and sleep on the couch uncomfortably just so I could be with Ryan. I moved my lips but didn't speak. "Sorry." He mumbled after seeing my face.

I looked up at the time. 6:15.

6:15? I was late!

"Ryan I have to be somewhere." I said quickly, pulling on my beaten sneakers without bothering to tie them.

"Where?"

"Somewhere!" I said, fleeing the room. I bolted down the stairs, thinking they would be faster then an elevator, and then exited onto the playground. It was empty and a bit freaky at night. I saw Ruby standing around on the sidewalk near the front doors.

"Hey sorry I'm late." I was huffing from my sudden race towards outside.

"Totally fine." She told me with a laugh, probably entertained by my appearance. "Anyways, I wanted to take you somewhere." She held out her hand.

Wearily, I took it. She still was only a stranger but she had an odd way of seeming trustable. We walked to a sweet looking cafe with dimmed yellow lights that set the happy mood inside.

"This is my favourite spot, ever." She admitted. "I never caught your name."

"Nick."

"Man, Nick, you're not very talkative. But I talk a lot, so I'm cool with that."

"Ya, well, I guess I'm just really tired."

"Oh, have you been busy?" She reminded me a bit of Kate. She sounded like she cared, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that it was just an act.

"Not really." I said with a pathetic laugh. "I just can't sleep anymore."

"Why not?"

Yet again, I was telling her everything and I had no idea why. "Well Ryan and I just moved in and I guess I just feel home-sick or something."

"Oh. Why did you move?"

"Well my dad died in a car accident and we couldn't afford the place at all."

I was resting my hands on the table between us when she put her own hands over mine. I gazed up into her eyes, which seemed so beautiful in the lights. "I'm sorry for you." Her voice was perfected.

My chest felt tight and my throat was plugged up, but I didn't have the usual burning sensation of wanting to cry. I pulled my hands back and continued to stare at her, until she looked down to see what I was doing. I lowered my eyes to my arms also as I pulled up my left sleeve, revealing my arm. She made a small gasp. "What's that from?" She had a sense of innocence.

"I did it. I was mad." We both looked at each other once again. Her eyes seemed bigger, fuller, twinkling with more emotion than before.

She leaned over the table, just enough to have our lips touch. Glued to the seat with surprise, I let her kiss me. She pulled back with an awed look and stared at me more. I probably looked confused as ever. It was however my first kiss.

"I need to get home... Thanks for everything." I stood after a silence of eternity.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Get some sleep tonight, maybe I'll see you tomorrow."