Inhuman [Keveridge/Shier]

9

Without informing anyone of my departure I headed in the direction of the town centre, aiming for the Cafe where I supposed Shane was already. I didn't bother listening to my earphones along the way, not feeling in the mood to concentrate on the voice of my favourite artists; I couldn't stop pondering of what Shane wanted to speak to me about, or why he couldn't just speak to someone else who he actually liked; He hated me, why was it me he wanted to see in particular? There was a huge possibility that I was simply overthinking everything that was happening, that Shane was just planning a surprise 'Sorry' party for Drew and needed help deciding the colour of the decorations; nothing negative to fuel my anxiety. However, there was also a slight possibility that I wasn't overthinking and Shane wanted to confront me about my hostile behaviour towards him, which terrified me.

Upon reaching the street, I looked out for anyone who dressed similar to the blond, immediately spotting a match who was leaning against a nearby wall, hands buried deep inside his pockets while his long hair was draped over his face, covering it entirely. Approaching him I felt myself mirroring his posture, feeling entitled to do so in hopes of making him feel slightly more comfortable.

"Hey," I mumbled once I'd reached him, my hands fiddling with a loose thread in my jacket pocket while I gave him a small smile. He merely nodded awkwardly in response, causing me to nod in return. Flicking my tongue anxiously over the surface of my lips I led him inside, heading over to the counter to order us something to eat and drink; I doubt we'd be allowed to stay for long without.

"Want anything?" I asked Shane gently, wanting to be polite. "A scone, or tea?"

He shook his head, mumbling quietly that he was going to find us a table before wandering off, causing me to sigh in frustration. In all honesty, I'd prefer harsh insults at group to this right now.

After purchasing a small chocolate chip cookie and a bottle of water I surveyed the cafe, finding Shane huddled in the far corner of the room, a single table with a chair opposite each other. I quickly headed over and sat opposite him, giving him yet another smile which he didn't return. After removing my jacket I tucked into my cookie, ripping it into small pieces before nibbling on them piece by piece; something Laurence liked when I did it.

"Well," I began, a mouthful of biscuit. "This is a much better way of spending the day, beats Group by miles, don't you think?" I decided to began with something a little less intense, not particularly wanting to speak to him when he seemed so distant.

He nodded gently, a small smile on his lips and cleared his throat before responding. "Definitely," He replied in a quiet tone. "It's too loud in there, but it's nice here..."

I smiled wider, pleased to finally hear his voice properly. "I know, right? Those guys never stop talking over each other, too desperate to talk about themselves, I guess."

Shane chuckled softly, nodding more before we fell into an uncomfortable silence; I had no idea how to continue to conversation or begin a new one, especially not one questioning our reason to be here together.

"So, umm," I started after a short while, voice timid and uncertain. "I didn't see you at group earlier. Did you just not feel up to it? Because I get like that sometimes, I just stay home and play Monopoly with L..." I trailed off, not feeling as if mentioning Laurence was the wisest of decisions right now.

"I had a doctors appointment," was his short response, shrugging slightly as if he didn't feel it was important. "I forgot to tell Luke about it."

"Oh," was my small response, feeling as if I was prying into his private life a little too much now. "Well, I hope it went okay."

He shrugged once more, nodding yet again. "Normal," He mumbled lowly, falling into silence once more for a short while. I didn't bother trying to break it this time, too afraid of pushing the confusing man away, and waited for him to speak once more.

"Umm, Kier?" He began, voice slightly more high pitch in what I assumed was fear. I responded with a calm 'Yes?' before he gathered the courage to speak again. "H.. Have you ever had to go for blood tests for things mental? Umm, like anxiety, or depression?"

I nodded slightly, showing him I understood his almost peculiar question. "Yeah, loads of times. They're just ticking boxes really, nothing special."

I watched as he nodded, wetting his dry lips with his tongue before continuing. "I.. umm, don't like blood much."

I couldn't help but let my smile  brighten at his words, finding his fear over something so irrational oddly adorable. "Need someone to go with you?" I asked softly, causing his eyes to widen as he lifted his eyes to stare at me in surprise.

"Umm, yeah," was his slow reply. "I-If.. you know, if you don't mind. That'd be great."

I chuckled, causing Shane to smile a little as well. "Sure, just let me know when you want to go."

He nodded, appearing slightly more relaxed now as he sat back in his chair, his lips tilting upwards to form a slight smile.

"Was," I asked, taking another piece of my cookie. "Was that what you needed help with? The blood test?"

Shane was silent for a moment, gazing down at the table in front of us, mumbling a small 'Yeah' but not meeting my gaze, giving me the impression that he was lying. However, I decided not to push it, knowing that as we're not on the best of terms that he'd probably not want to tell me about it.

"How's Drew?" He asked suddenly, instantly changing the subject as he lifted his head once more.

"Heartbroken." I replied honestly, not wanting to try and make him think well of this; I still despised his decision to harm Drew like this. His only response was a small 'oh', causing me to release a large sigh.

"You really should speak to him, Shane," I mumbled, eyes pleading as I stared at his upset expression. "He's so confused and broken up; He needs you."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Shane was quick to respond, resting his head on his hands while he pulled slightly on his thick hair. "I just need a little more time."

"Time for what?" I snarled, becoming increasingly more frustrated at his selfishness. "Drew is hurt, Shane; It's your job to help him."

"I know, but it's just better for everyone if I stay away for a while."

"Better for everyone?! Drew is fucking broken, didn't you listen?" I cried out, alerting a few customers in the cafe for a second before they turned away in annoyance.

"I can't help him!" Shane returned in the same tone, looking at me with pleading, watery eyes.

"And why's that? Because you go to that stupid group?! He won't care; if he loves you he'll see you through it and then maybe you won't need someone you supposedly hate going to hospital visits with you!"

"No, you fucking ignorant prick!" He suddenly shouted, knocking my water bottle over in attempt to release his frustration. "Because he won't understand, no one ever understands. He'll think I'm faking and I can't cope. No matter how many times I tell the doctors they say there's nothing there. There is! I'm fucking serious; There's something wrong with me!" Shane broke down soon after, his head falling onto the desk while he cried, face hidden from everyone in possible humiliation. I didn't know what to do, guilt clouding over me, but I couldn't help but be slightly confused by his outburst.

"Shane," I whispered, raising a hand and placing it on his shaking shoulder as comfort. "What do you mean? Why don't the doctors believe you?"

"T-They say that's it's all in my head and there's no sign of injury," was his muffled reply, not bothering to meet my stare. "But I-It is real, Kier... It's always fucking there."