Dead Love | Michael Clifford

eight.

I'm awoken by someone shaking me gently.
"Lijy," Kyra whispers.
I open my eyes to find her crouched next to me, holding a small, lit candle.
"Hm?" I respond, blinking in the soft glow of the flame.
"I had another nightmare," she tells me quietly.
"Come here," I pat the bed between me and Michael, who has rolled away from me.
Kyra climbs between us and slides under the blanket. I go back to sleep.

"What the fuck?!?"
I groan and roll over to see what's going on. Mikey sits up and I notice that Kyra's arms are wrapped around him. She slowly opens her eyes, then lets go of him and sits up herself.
"When did you get here?" He asks, seeming very confused and slightly angry.
"Earlier," she replies.
I burst out laughing at his reaction. He just looks back and forth between the two of us with his eyebrows furrowed.
"Kyra, do you mind going back upstairs for the night?" I suggest.
"Sure. I'll go see if Joe will let me sleep with him," she smiles at me and gets up, then leaves the room.
"I'm so confused," Mikey mutters, running a hand through his messy hair.
"She has nightmares about his death," I explain. "He died right in front of her, to save her."
"Oh..."
"Yeah. She normally comes to sleep with me if they wake her up."
He nods.
"Let's go back to sleep," he says tiredly.
I agree and turn to face away from him. Mikey scoots up behind me and lays his arm around my waist. He curls this arm around me to pull me against him tightly, wrapping his other arm around my shoulders in the front. I blush deeply as he rests his head next to mine.
My heart is pounding in my chest and I hope he can't feel it because I can feel his beating regularly against my back.
"Goodnight," he mumbles right next to my ear.
I breathe nervously as his breathing slows. After a few minutes I'm able to calm down and become more comfortable in his arms. Eventually I'm able to fall asleep again.

I wake up in Michael's arms with a smile on my face for no reason. I wipe the idiotic grin off my face and just lay there, not wanting to move in case I wake him.
Eventually Mikey wakes up. His breathing speeds up a little and he moans tiredly in my ear. I shiver at the noise, my face turning red again.
He pulls his arms away from me and rolls onto his back.
"G'morning," he mumbles, his voice raspy and deep.
"Morning," I say back.
He turns his head to look at me and smiles. I roll my eyes at him before getting up.
We go upstairs in silence to find everyone else already there. Mikey and I grab stuff to eat and join them at the table.
"Joe, you should stay longer," Kyra says as we sit down.
"Well... I don't know if I should," he answers.
"You're welcome to stay for as long as you'd like," Jasmyn tells him.
"I don't mind having a sleeping companion," Michael smiles and I kick him softly under the table.
"I'll think about it," Joe declares, taking another bite of his breakfast.
"Yay!" Kyra hugs him and I look over again at Ashton. He's looking away from them sadly. I frown and decide I'm gonna talk to him later.
"Today, Kyra, Luke, and Joe, you three are going to the abandoned grocery store again. It seems to be providing the most useful items. Amanda and Calum, you two look around in another direction for anything useful," Jasmyn orders.
"Does it have to be those groups?" Amanda whines.
"Yes."
She glares across the table at Calum, who glares back.
"What are we doing today, Jas?" I ask for the rest of us.
"We're going to organise and sort things."
I nod. The hunters for today leave and then we start doing that. Mikey and I were assigned to empty the containers full of papers and holiday decorations outside.
We do so and stack the empty containers inside in the main room. When we finish, Jas tells us to wash everyone's dirty clothes and spread them out on the roof to dry. So we do, talking the whole time. About his past which is much happier than mine, about Joe, about feelings and how it's obvious Kyra likes Joe but in a friend-crush sort of way and how Amanda and Calum have some kind of grudge against each other and how Ashton likes Kyra and how he's noticed Joe eyeing Luke and Luke eyeing Joe back.
When the hunters get back for the night, we all eat together as usual. Joe has decided to stay for a few more days because he likes it here. The three who went to the store had run into another group of zombies but there's no need to go back because they pretty much took the last of the good stuff. Luke had brought home an assortment of hair dye for Michael.
Jas and Ashton had washed all of the clothes from storage yesterday and folded them today, lined up the shoes in pairs from smallest to largest, and organised the inventory room.
After dinner and before anybody washes up, Jasmyn hands everyone the stack of clothes separated for them. Many of the clothes are black, white, or neutral colours.
Then we all get to choose shoes that fit us nicely.
Finally we get to go to our rooms. I set my clothes in the corner of Mikey's room. I go to the door to talk to Ashton but I'm stopped by the curious boy.
"Where you going?" He asks, sitting on his bed.
"To go talk to Ashton," I tell him.
"Why?"
"Well... He likes Kyra as I told you earlier, and he seems to think that she likes Joe."
"Okay... Just come back soon, I need a cuddle buddy."
I blush but turn away to leave before he can see. I knock on Ashton's door before entering.
"Hey," I greet.
"Hi," he smiles politely. "What's up?"
"I wanted to talk..."
"About Kyra? Don't worry, I can get over her," he dismisses the conversation.
"No, you don't have to. You weren't there when Joe said he's gay."
"Even if he is, she still keeps giving him attention..."
"Because he's new and she's interested in him. Look, if you want her to like you back, then keep talking to her and be nice to her. What's the worst that could happen?"
"I ruin it all and she doesn't like me back and I have to live with her for a long time."
"Okay, I'll talk to her soon if I get a chance."
"Don't tell her I like her," he pleads.
"I won't. I promise," I smile at him.
"Thank you... For listening to what I have to say," he holds his arms out for a hug so I hug him.
"Goodnight," I say before leaving the room.
When I get back to Mikey's room he attacks me with a giant hug out of nowhere. I smile against his shoulder as I hug him back.
"Sorry," he chuckles, pulling away.
"It's okay," I laugh, although I'm sad he stopped hugging me.
"I just love hugs," he tells me, looking down at his socked feet.
"I do too. I've always wanted to just hug someone for like ten minutes straight and not let go," I explain, shrugging.
He holds out his arms with a giant grin and I laugh again before wrapping my arms tightly around his torso.
We stand there for god knows how long before Luke comes busting into the room.
"Lijy," he says, his eyes wide. My heartbeat speeds up. "I need to talk to you."
"Umm... Yeah, okay," I let go of Mikey and follow Luke back to his room.
"Okay... This sounds crazy and all, it even sounds crazy to me. I'm nervous to admit it to anyone," he paces back and forth while I sit on his bed, watching.
"Luke, you can tell me."
"Okay, here goes nothing... I think I like Joe."
"And?" I urge as he sits next to me.
"He's really attractive and as he told us about his adventures today, I fell in love with his voice and I'm really scared because I've never felt this way about a boy before. I've only ever felt it with girls."
"You must be bi," I conclude.
"Then why have I never been attracted to a boy?" He nearly whispers.
"Caitlyn Jenner didn't come out as trans until she was like in her fifties," I point out. "And Joe Graceffa came out when he was like twenty-four or something. But Troye Sivan was still a teenager when he did. Maybe you've always felt this way without noticing it."
"Maybe... But I don't know what to do about it. What if he doesn't like me back?"
"Just flirt with him and stuff," I shrug. "I'm sure he'll like you back, you're really good-looking."
"Thanks," he smiles at me.
"Can I ask you a question now?"
"Sure."
"Why did you tell me this? Why not one of the other girls or even one of the guys?"
"I dunno... You're, like, dating Michael now and Ashton trusts you and Calum says you're nice so I thought I'd tell you," he explains.
"Ummm Michael and I are not dating," I tell him, trying not to blush at his comment. "Does it really seem like it?"
"Well kinda, you two are always together," Luke shrugs. "And he said you told him about your past. But he wouldn't tell me about it. Then a few minutes ago I walked in on you two hugging. I really think he likes you a lot."
"Luke," I whine, shoving his arm. He falls over and starts laughing. "He does not like me."
"Tomorrow, pay attention to how much he smiles around you and the way he looks at you," he says, sitting back up. "You should be getting back to his room now, he's probably missing you."
"Shut up," I mumble, standing up. I go back to Mikey's room to find him asleep already. He's on the side of the bed he slept on last night but he's facing my side. I blow out the candle on his nightstand and lay next to him in bed.
I can't stop thinking about what Luke said. Does Michael really like me?
I stare at his peaceful sleeping face in the moonlight and listen to his soft breathing.
Do I like him back?
I push his hair out of his eyes carefully and cup his face with my hand. He looks really calm and almost angelic. His eyebrow bar is out which I've learned he takes it out to sleep. I grab his hand and lace our fingers together.
He smiles in his sleep. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep but end up thinking. Luke's words keep repeating in my head.
Mikey and I haven't left each others' side in days. We talk a lot and he's all I can ever think of, whether it's subconscious or not. He is really attractive but I don't want to be attracted to him.
Is this all stupid, cheesy, romantic, teenager stuff? Because I don't want to be a part of that. I don't know how to stop it other than pushing him away... But I can't do that. Well, I mean I could...
My mind goes back and forth between these ideas until I eventually fall asleep.