Ι Walĸ Alone..

Idek

I hate how depression practically forces you to stop talking to your friends. And it forces you to isolate yourself from those you want to talk to most, but you can't help that depression is pulling you so deep. It just sucks how you're sad and anxious all the time and there's nothing you can do to fix it..
Honestly, there probably is one or two things you could do, but another thing is depression makes you not want to put in any effort because you feel hopeless and like it won't work. Meanwhile, from your families perspective you're just a lazy teen who's too stuck up to get over yourself. But you try to tell them that, that's not the case. But, they won't listen so you eventually stop trying. Because, let's face it, you can explain it to them, but you can't understand It for them. When they ask you what's wrong, you say, "nothing I'm fine. You wouldn't understand anyway." And they take it so personal and say, "right because I'm just an idiot that knows nothing about anything."  You try so desperately to explain that, that's not what you meant, but they are so mad that they won't listen. Which in return makes you feel even more crappy than before. And then there are those people  like, your crush who pretty much control your mood. They can make you feel like crap in an instant and they can make you feel happy just like that.
They sometimes say things that hurt you, but you're too afraid to tell them because you don't want them to be mad. But you're stuck because you love them and you have great times together sometimes. But sometimes they make your depression worse and sometimes they make it better. It's so hard to be on top of the world one minute and at the bottom of ocean drowning the next. It's like the higher you feel that day, the lower you'll feel that night. But in that moment you don't care. Until you're alone that is. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You're fine. You just need to stop being a baby and suck it up. Being alone isn't all that bad. At least you won't get hurt..