My Depression

Pictures

New cover I made! Sorry this had nothing to do with the chapter T^T sorry

So, I don't know why but I really hate pictures......

Okay that's a lie I know exactly why I hate pictures. I hate it when someone is trying to take a picture of me and they say it's for "memories". Like, if you can't just remember this moment it's obviously not that amazing a moment.

You have to be either old, have a serious memory problem or are going to show it to someone later for sure for me to even consider letting you take a photo of me.

I seriously hate pictures and I have this weird thing with videos where I can tolerate them but not a lot. Because in videos you can move and fix yourself. In a picture you have literally seconds to make sure you look okay!

I know where this "phobia of pictures" came from too (this is where it gets a little sad ;-;). It can from my lack of confidence in how I look.

I really hate people that are vain (I'm going to try not to talk about vain people too much in this) and I once took this quiz about whether I was narcissistic or not (for lols) and it was like:
12-16 = you're normal!
17-19 = you're probably famous
20+ = narcissist

You wanna know what I got? A fucking 2! A 2! (Excuse my language) And that was just for me relying on myself more that others. It was the least narcissistic thing on there and I got it.

So I'm definitely not a narcissist and I hate pictures because I hate the thought of people being able to see me at any point, I know it's nice to have pictures for memories but I have an amazing memory. My first memory was from when I was two and my mum and step dad got married.

Half of my hate from pictures comes from my terrible logic of "if you can't remember it on your own it's obviously not that amazing a moment in time". Because I have an amazing memory though I have no idea where I get it from, my mum has a terrible memory (sorry mum) and I've never met my real dad so I'm not sure about him.

And I literally remember everything, don't tell me a promise you can't keep because I will remember it forever. Okay, not forever but I remember a lot of things, a lot of weird things. I remember in kindergarten (no joke okay?) when this girl kissed a guys cheek (no naming names) like, wtf? How and why do I remember that?

Also, I never take selfies (probably the only girl alive who doesn't) and I purposely try to avoid pictures (like the plague) because I hate them so much. I get yelled at by relatives for not wanting to be in pictures.

Like, bro, respect my phobia, okay? (I don't know if it would be considered a phobia but whatever) It's not like you'll never see me again. Seriously only my older relatives can get me to take a picture because I know they might not have a lot of time left.

To sum this up I hate pictures because I hate how I look but I decided to make this my longest rant get because I really hate pictures.

Tell me what weird thing you really hate because I'm sure it's not as weird as my phobia of pictures. (Realising just how weird this phobia is) why am I so weird?