My Depression

Step-stepdad

Another sad one! About time this is called "My Depression" it should be about depression right? Right.

Okay, some of you might know that I have never met my real father, all I know about him is that his name is Phillip and I get my overly curly hair from him. That's all. I love my grandmama on his side...that's all, really.

I'm actually really lucky I look a lot like my mum because people would ask questions if we didn't. If you put me and my mum next to each other you would say we're sisters and not mother and daughter. People honestly think we're sisters. And if you put our baby pictures next to each other even my grandmama couldn't even tell the difference.

Okay, enough about that.

I've never met my father my mum had to raise me by herself for a year or so until she met my stepdad. I freaking love my stepdad I'm only calling him stepdad here so people don't get confused.

He's awesome, okay? Best dad ever, wouldn't be me without him. So they got married and we lived like a normal family until I was 11? I think I was 11. Now, side note, I didn't know that my stepdad was my stepdad until I was 8 almost 9.

I was 11 and my mum decided to divorce my stepdad. I bawled and I'm not ashamed to admit that because I loved him, still do. So big divorce thing, complicated documents, paying for overpriced lawyers, you know, the like.

After that my mum and I moved out to a house my uncle used to live in. That place was falling apart. Whatever idiot decided to put brick on a house not designed to have brick put on it should be fired because there were cracks everywhere and I'm glad I don't live there anymore because sometimes I went to sleep worrying for my life. That was probably because of the giant crack in my ceiling but whatever.

Okay enough about the poor house. After 1 1/2 years in that sad house my mum told me "We're moving!" She didn't happen to mention it was 14 hours/900 miles away from where we were currently living.

Yeah.

So we played Tetris with our moving vehicle as we tried to fit everything into it. That was fun and sweaty. Okay now we're 900 miles away from home and we had to sleep in my mum's boyfriends house.

He lived with his parents at the time. Also, he's 8 years younger than her which isn't that bad but it's noticeable, sometimes more than other times.

Let me tell you, he's a twat. He always teases me and my mum. He always makes fun of us and everything about him is completely the opposite of what I had previously been taught.

What my mum sees in him I have no fucking clue.

Anyway, at first I was like "as long as my mums happy I'm happy" that changed quickly. You see, I was now 13 and I matured very quickly so I wasn't like any other 13 year old.

That didn't change the fact that puberty was trying to catch up to me and I think everyone knows you are your most vulnerable during this time. So being exposed to a snarky, kind of violent, teasing twat was not good for me.

I became very depressed and rarely ever left my room. I'm a very nice and peaceful person, it takes a lot for me to seriously hate someone. I've only hated one person in my life, seriously hated, this is my step-stepdad.

You might not know but the feeling of being teased and not being able to say anything about it without getting yelled at fucking sucks so just don't make the mistake I did and stand up for yourself or tell somebody because I just bottled it up until I thought I would explode.

So, fuck you step-stepdad you are one of the reasons my life is a living hell. Sorry for the swearing in this one and how long it is but I couldn't help it.

Also, a little tiny note to my step-stepdad even though he'll never see this. Don't laugh at every ducking thing I do, I'm not here to humour you. If you're going to laugh at everything I do do it to my fucking face and mum, I know you two talk about me, the walls aren't as thick as you think they are.

Anyway.....any bad experiences with a relative or have someone you really hate? Tell me and we can compare stories because I feel like I'm making an Internet support group here. And, as always, arigatou for reading!