Hidden Investigations (#Wattys2015)

Chapter Fifteen

             I look at the photos over and over again, trying to find a way to convince myself that my eyes are mistaken, because I still can't believe it! That person, what is she trying to do? Why is she explaining this to me? To get me down? To break me? I'm about to lose it, if I haven't already lost it, I mean Zack is a psychologist!! What? How can it be? How did he deceive me? How did he become that good of a liar? I had little suspicions but never thought that they'd be true, he didn't want to talk about his college and escaped my questions about his studies but I still couldn't ask him right away. The real question is: Why on earth do I need a psychologist in my life?  Maybe, what this girl has been doing to me caused me mental disturbance. Yes, I mean depression was taking over me and Zack started living next doors since she began to communicate mysteriously with me. It breaks me down to think about how meeting Zack wasn't a matter of chance, how our relationship wasn't the why I though it was and how he actually listened to me, understood me and gained my trust because I was simply a part of his job. I was deceived. As a result of thinking about all of that, my eyes cried out all the tears they have and my heart was kind of screaming out loud but this time my mind didn't ask it to stop cause it was  sick itself.

       My phone beeped again and Zack sent a message. My fingers couldn't resist the curiosity of my mind so, I tapped it. He sent a file!! He sent a song?!  "Music is the only language you fully understand. So, it's the easiest way to communicate with you, Ash " he once told me when he caught me with my earphones on and leaving him alone in the middle of solving my problem with Hayley, now I know why he cared that much, why he was a listener but never a talker and why he was very careful with analyzing my personality because I was his..... patient . That's why he magically let me tell him my darkest and deepest secrets that neither my parents nor Josh had the chance to know about.

        Yes, it's Josh that knows me the most, maybe I don't open up to him like I do with Jessie but he is still the one who knows me the most, he knew me as a child when I was still obsessing over Cinderella and trying to balance  the light button between on and off  and he knows me as an awkward teenager with my obsession for music, books and movies and he was the one that witnessed the craziest fangirling moments that I've been through. He knows my favourite artists, songs, hobbies, my likes and my dislikes but it was Zack who easily gained my trust using the mind of a psychologist. Love was never the reason! I really love my parents but I would have never opened up to them about something like that.

   I suddenly remember the message and think about it .Does he want to me something? I let the song starts playing and listen carefully. It's 'Secrets'. Does Zack really intend to give all his secrets away? Will he be honest? I wonder if he knows that I've just found out about him. The song kept playing and I think he was trying to  express himself through this part specifically :    

Tell me what you want to hear

Something that will light those ears

Sick of all the insincere

I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie

Don't care if critics ever jump in line

I'm gonna give all my secrets away

         It's really great how a song can describe your state or explain your desire, I always thought.The song played twice and I think I got the message but I already told him what I want to hear. I already told him I need an explanation. I wish he could have just explained himself before I receive that message from the damn unknown number. No, I wish Zack weren't even in my life. The more you care, the more you get broken  and I cared so much for him and the best way to avoid hurting your feelings is pretending that you don't have any but that wouldn't have worked cause in this case, pretending isn't enough.

         "Show is over, sir" I said through my tears as he opened the door.

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