Wearing Thin.

1. "Keep It Sweet."

Running. I’d been running for what felt like ages now and it was almost as if it was the only thing my body had ever been programmed to do. My lungs were on fire and every breath I took only made the pain a hundred times worse. There were tears in my eyes and my cheeks were numb from the cold air whipping against it. The night was young but everything had already gone south. It only took a spilled drink, and a few words exchanged for things to take a turn for the worse. With my heart beating wildly in my chest, and the soles of my worn out heels smacking against the pavement I rounded the nearest corner, entering the parking garage I had been aiming for. Part of me wanted to stop, after all, it was too late - I knew it was. But for some reason it was almost as if my legs had a mind of their own - as if the truth hadn’t reached them and they still had a small glimmer of hope. Everything was wrong, and I had allowed it to be so for too long. I blinked quickly, feeling as though if I kept my eyes closed for longer than a millisecond, I’d miss something, and most importantly - I’d miss my chance.

Reaching the parking level I had engraved into my mind, my eyes scanned over the cars gathered around as I frantically jogged through the rows, trying my hardest to spot the sleek new Maserati I had been in for a total of ten minutes earlier this night. Then I stopped, and mentally kicked myself in the ass. I was being stupid, and downright ridiculous. If possible I could feel my heart shift into a concave in my chest, I felt empty and I couldn’t breathe - may it be from the running or the heartache. Leaning against a random car, I sunk down to the ground, resting my head against my knees. I could only imagine how pathetic I looked right now, although that was the last thing I had to worry about.

There were people back at the party - friends, enemies, all terribly confused at what exactly had just happened, but I didn’t care. And I hoped they weren’t expected an explanation because that was the last thing they were ever going to get from me. Sniffling loudly, I wiped the tears from my eyes and pushed myself off of the ground. My gaze landed on the back of my hand and all I could do was laugh. Laugh at how my make-up was fucked, and laugh at how my life was one big publicity stunt. There was never going to be a happy me, because this wasn’t about me. This was about how much money she could make, and how much publicity Demi Lovato could bring her record company.

Dusting off the back of my jeans, I began my walk of shame back to the party. There I would collect my things and go back home, where I’d ignore everyone’s calls and sulk over pizza and a horror movie. I was too caught up in my own ointless little world to notice the sound of an engine approaching, and to be frank if it wasn’t his engine then I didn’t care either way. Like clock work, the black car I had been searching for pulled up beside me with all the windows rolled down. “I’m sorry about leaving like that.” He muttered, leaning over the center console to stare at me through the passengers side window. His tie had been loosened, the stain was dry and the first first buttons of his dress shirt were undone, and for the first time that I had known him, he looked tired, and I was too.

“Me too Zayn, you know we’re never going to hear the end of it now.” I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. He smiled at me, but it wasn’t the type that reached his eyes. It wasn’t genuine, the type that I hated the most. He looked sad and he sounded like it too. He looked down at the leather and the intricate stitching of the car seat and for once I couldn’t read his mind, and that drove me absolutely insane. He had been acting weird all day and I didn’t understand why. Pausing I tried to piece all the words and movements in my head, struggling to come up with an answer.

- It was their welcome back party, and everyone that was anybody was invited. I was attached to Niall’s side like I was supposed to be and there were camera’s everywhere. Every now and then we’d share a kiss - pretending as if we didn’t know there was a pap or three standing almost right behind us. I didn’t want to be here all night, but I knew I had no say in the matter. I felt alone. Naked. Stripped completely. Miley was off flirting with God knows who, and I had no one that understood what I was feeling. Niall was a good listener but he was only a boy. He didn’t get it, and he didn’t get me. Upon entering this publicized relationship I had hoped that we would at least be able to find some common ground but there was none. He wanted to party and have a good time, and well - I had already done all of that.

Pressing a gentle kiss on the side of his face I excused myself from Niall, making my way over to where they had been serving drinks. Asking the tender for a virgin cosmopolitan, I drummed my fingers along the makeshift table, thanking him with a small smile as I was handed a cocktail glass. A few sips later I was wandering around the sea of people, checking to see if I knew anyone well enough to stop and make conversation with. Unfortunately everyone seemed to be caught up in their own little world, leaving me to look like the friendless freak - which honestly wasn’t quite far from the truth.

A hand had been placed on my shoulder and I stopped in my tracks, twirling around to come face to face with an individual I was hoping to avoid for the remainder of the night. “Did you think about it?” He asked, his brown eyes boring holes into mine. I shrugged my shoulders, my eyes averting to the people standing behind him. The last thing I needed was to break down in front of everyone at a time like this. He groaned, and grabbed my arm roughly, pulling me towards the group of friends we shared. I heard warnings and the next thing I knew I had fallen, and my drink was splashed all over the front of Zayn’s shirt.

I felt light headed and I wanted to cry right then and there, but I grabbed the glass and stood up and took a step towards him. “I’m so so sorry Zayn.” I mumbled, not knowing whether to go fetch a napkin for him or to just stand and stare at the mess I had made. He let out a few sounds of disapproval and shook his arms, trying to get the sticky liquid off of him. “God Demi, I’m tired of you always being sorry.” With that said his jaw clenched and he pushed right past me, disappearing into the crowd. Miley glanced up at me from her spot on the couch, before rolling her eyes. “What the hell is his problem…”

There was a chorus of people asking me what he meant by that but I was well aware, and I was the only one. Shaking my head, I raised my hand, hoping they would shut the hell up and let me collect my thoughts for a split second. I was given an ultimatum, and I finally had an answer. It was my perfect publicity stunt or him, and I knew it. There was no way to pick both - at least not at this point in time. -

“So you coming? Or not.” He asked, beginning to grow impatient. I had been pulled out of my thoughts before I was even able to make sense of things, but I always knew what I wanted out of this, and I wasn’t going to let it slip out from in between my fingertips once more. I knew that he had what I wanted, and was the only person who could give it to me. Zayn was the only one who knew where my happiness hid, and it was inside of him. I nodded, opening the passengers side door, and sliding in. I buckled my seat belt, and let my head find comfort against the back of the seat.

Cringing as the car roared to life, I began to take note of the pulsing in my head. Probably from all the running and crying. We were on our way to a destination I wasn’t completely sure of but with the sound of Swim Good leaving the cars speakers I was finally at ease. We came to a stop and I sat up, looking out the window. We were at the exit of the parking garage, and Zayn was leaning over to press a kiss against my lips. I let him, because truth be told I missed it and there wasn’t a moment that went by where I didn’t want to wrap my arms around him and have my way with him. But when a million flashing lights surrounded us, it was obvious that we made another mistake.