I'll Be Seeing You

Nine.

I hugged Rene goodbye and promised to call her tonight to let her know how things went with Mark. As she drove away, I stood staring up at the living room window. I'd been here for a year now, and this was the one place that truly felt like home. I couldn't imagine what my life would look like if Mark hadn't walked in when he did.

I climbed the stairs, trying to steady my thoughts before going inside, but my nerves were shot. I felt like the worst friend in the world. After everything he'd done for me, I'd betrayed him. All those long talks, the heart-to-hearts—I couldn't even bring myself to tell him the truth. He'd probably never look at me the same way again. And honestly? I wouldn't blame him.

I turned the handle and stepped inside. The apartment was warm and inviting—candles flickered everywhere, filling the air with a soothing scent. The table was set, and the smell of pork chops and homemade mashed potatoes hit me like a hunger pang I hadn't realized I had until now.

"I wasn't sure if you'd eaten while you were out, so I cooked dinner for us," Mark said, placing a basket of rolls on the table.

"I'm starving. I haven't eaten since breakfast. It smells amazing in here," I said, grateful.

"Well, have a seat. I'll grab us some drinks and plate up."

"I can get mine," I offered, hoping I didn't sound rude.

He smiled. "I got it."

I sat down while he poured our drinks and set our plates before me. Honestly, there was nothing better than a man who could cook—and a home-cooked meal was just what I needed.

"I wasn't sure when you'd be back, but you came in just in time."

"Rene and I went to the lake and hiked up the mountain. I guess I worked up an appetite. We lost track of time, so we left before dark."

"I'm glad you got out for some fresh air."

"Me too," I said, but my smile faded as the tears came. Mark reached across the table and gently wiped a tear from my cheek.

"Please don't cry," he whispered.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it."

"Please don't leave, Lyssa. Not like this. I know one day you might leave, but I can't let it be because of all this."

"I thought you hated me," I said, voice trembling. "So I thought leaving would be best."

"I could never hate you. I was hurt, but I don't hate you."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you. You weren't supposed to find out like that."

He sighed softly. "Seems like I wasn't meant to find out at all."

"That's not true. I just wanted to wait. Which, I know now, was the wrong thing to do."

"What did you feel like you needed to wait for? Have I done something to make you feel like you couldn't trust me?"

Tears poured down my cheeks. Mark stood and knelt in front of me, gently wiping them away, his fingers tracing my face.

"It's not about trust," I said, struggling to hold it together. "I trust you with my life, Mark. That's not it."

"Then what is it? Help me understand."

"Everything happened so fast, and the timing was terrible. I didn't want you to think I was a bad person. She and Morgan had just broken up, and she was one of my good friends. I didn't want you to think Kasey and I had been sneaking around behind anyone's back."