Her Vice

(26): Blessed.

Shock didn't quite fit the feeling. It was something on those lines though, Rakim's mother called me very early this morning to invite me to brunch. Shocked because the woman never liked me to say the least. Calling me a whore, slut and every woman shaming word in the book. I didn't quite fit her ideal image of what the perfect woman for her son was. She was a very by-the-bible type of woman, I didn't knock her love for Jesus. Respected it wishing I could change my ways into a godly woman as of her. But she was judgemental, small minded and blunt. We clashed like fire and oil.

Getting ready i needed to keep it modest she was fairly conservative. Setting out a crisp, white dress shirt along with distressed jeans and strappy sandals. Showering and trying to come across as sober as possible, "fuck, fuck," I scrubbed at my tongue and put drops in my eyes.

Parking in front of the quaint home in the midst of the perfect, movie like neighborhood. Reaching for my bag and bouquet in the passenger side before getting out, knocking at the door twice before it was opened. "Whoa, I didn't know you were coming." Rakim smiled and let me in, taking the bouquet from me. Looking like Easter Sunday in his trousers and knit sweater. Chuckling to myself as I heard the screams of Sasha and Rakim's sister, Heaven, behind her. "Mommy!" Sasha attacked me with a hug and I swung her back and forth. "Hey princess," I lifted her and kissed her forehead. "I didn't know you were coming." She smiled up at me, kissing my cheek before I put her down.

"Yeah, yeah. Your nana invited me," she gasped and ran off to the kitchen where I'm guessing she was.

"Hey Trinity," Heaven smiled at me, I pulled her into  a tight hug.

"Hey," I spoke softly before letting her go. She chuckled and led me towards the kitchen. "The flowers are lovely, Trinity." Rakim's mother cleared her throat while messing with them in the vase.

"Hi Ms. Jones," She nodded and asked for Rakim and I to set the table.

".She invited you, huh?"
"I'm waiting for the bucket of red paint to come pouring down on me or something, or something along those lines." I giggled to myself as I set the cutlery down.
"Ion think she has any malicious intent behind it. At least that's what I'm praying."
"Never know," I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and felt his eyes indulge me. I tried to ignore it as long as possible but glanced up at him.
"I'm sorry again about last night."
"Nah, nah it was what was best. I'm with Carlito, just because things weren't perfect didn't mean I had to..." He glanced up and I muted my voice as Sasha came in. "What's up lil mama?" Rakim bent down to her as she whispered in his ear making him smile. "Why don't ya ask her?" He glanced up at me and winked. She put her finger in her mouth nervously before rushing over to me and grabbed my hands,"Mommy, could you please have a sleepover at the house? Pretty please!" Sasha squeezed my hands with a smile that I couldn't say no to.
"Of course, only if we can stay up late." I smiled down at her making her cheer. Laughing at her get excited and run to tell heaven and her nana. "She's so adorable."

"She's yours," Rakim smirked as he adjusted the tablecloth. I bit into my lip and nodded to myself,"She's mine."

The tension was thick at the table even if it was blessed. "So Trinity where have you been these past few years?" Ms. Jones glared my way while sipping slowly from her ice tea.

"Not much but living," That was far from the truth. Glancing down at Sasha attempting at cutting her food with the side of her spoon, I assisted her.

"What do you mean by living? Job? Are you moving back here? Stepping up into Sasha's life? Have you attended colleg-"

"Ma!" Rakim cut her off but I placed my hand over his, causing her to glare down at it and him to soften his tense stance.

"It's cool, I can take the interrogating." I smiled softly and winked at her. "By living I mean just finding myself and getting on the right path of success. I just stopped working at my long term job, but I'm on the look for new work. I'm actually going to stay where I relocated and yes I'm working on myself to be a bigger part of my daughters life. No I haven't gone to college, yes I do plan on eventually going back but at the time it wasn't the right thing for me." She sat silent awhile and squinted.

"Hm, is that right?"

"Yes ma'am indeed." I bit into the broccoli I forked.

"Are you in a relationship currently?"

"Yes, I do have a boyfriend actually."
"What is this past job you did, exactly?" She quirked an eyebrow at me.
Glancing over at Rakim before looking back at my plate. "I was actually an exotic dancer." Sasha glanced up at me.

"Mommy what's that?" She tilted her head.
"Kind've like a ballerina." Rakim's mother scoffed and chuckled.
"I knew it, I knew it!" She shook her head. "Not fit to be a mother whatsoever, heh. The same slut who came into my home at sixteen saying she was pregnant with my sons child! Bet it's not even yours, Rakim-" I felt tears stinging at my eyes and I lifted from the table before Rakim grabbed my wrist tightly.

"Mom, you aren't going to talk to the mother of my child like that. I don't care what the situation. Trinitys background doesn't change the fact that she is an amazing mother and Sasha adores her. She's nothing less than a woman and she deserves that respect. I'm done, come on Sasha lets go." She jumped from her seat and waved bye before tagging along with us.

"You didn't have to do that." I crossed my arms over my chest as water beat down my back.
"Do what?" Rakim wiped down the counters from dinner we had just ate.
"Earlier at your moms. What you said," I reminded him as I glanced down at the wood floors and back to his smiling face.
"It wasn't much I just couldn't stand there listening to her bash you like that. It was out of line especially in front of our child," I felt my cheeks warm up.
"I really do appreciate you, Keem. Ya mean a lot to me and I know I don't voice it or show it often but I do."
"Nah I know."
"How?"
"The way you get around me. You don't guard yourself up as much, you almost catch your breath." I smiled.
"Well I'm going to put her into bed and head off to bed." He nodded and kissed my forehead before I made my way to the couch where Sasha was sprawled out.