Nat do you have to go? Yeah babe I have to or else we won't have money. I know I just don't want you to leave me. It's only for a few months. You could get hurt nat I just want you to come home safe. I promise I will.
*flash back*
When Evan dropped me off I went to Nathan's and i's room. Nathan was sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands on his face crying. Nat what happened, why are you crying, is baby alright are you alright? No Lilly I'm not, when we were at Oxnard I signed up for the Marines, so they called me today and they want me to leave. No nat why didn't you tell me, I can't lose you. I have no one left but you. I don't see my older brother cause he's in the Navy, and I don't know where my little brother is.
I know Lilly but I have to go, theirs no turning back now. When do you have to leave, I asked crying. Tomorrow, they said it was short notice. I-i-i don't want you to go I love you nat. I love you to lillanna rojas you are my world and if anything happens to you and baby while I'm gone I will never forgive myself.
*flash back over*
Bye baby ill see you as soon as I can, and be nice to every one and help your mom. He kissed baby and handed her to me. Bye Lilly I love you. I love you to Nathan. Dada, me and nat looked at baby. Lilly she called me Dada, that's her first word. I know, she's going to miss you. *honk,honk* I should get going. We said our good byes one last time, and he left.
I put baby on the floor next to Damon, and Eric so she could play. I went upstairs to my room and cried. He's gone, I don't know how to live with my self.
*knock, knock* how the is it. It's jesus can I come in? Yeah, he opened the door and walked to me. Jesus I can't do this, I need him. I know Lilly I'm here for you if you need me okay. Okay, I had my head on his chest and cried more. I heard one of the baby's crying so I started to get up. On lay down you need rest I'll get them.
I went to my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess my makeup was all over the place, but I didn't care. I opened the mirror and grabbed the blade. I up it go my wrist ans cried. I slid it down until I have around 15 cuts. I washed the blood for and put band aids on. I took a shower and redid my makeup, and my hair.
I went to the living room and baby was their with Eric, playing. Dada, Dada, baby keeped saying it over and over. I grabbed her and she yawned, so I took her to her and Eric's room and sat on the rocking chair, and rocked her to sleep.
I put baby down and went to make me something to eat. Lilly are you okay, Ivanna said. Yeah I'm fine thanks. What's on your wrist. Crap I whispered, nothing, are you hungry? Well me Damon and Jaime were going out to eat. Okay have fun see you later. When they left I ate and feed Eric, cause jesus was in the shower. Dada, Eric said. Dad is in the shower he'll be out in a little bit, I told him. He started to cry so I started to rock him back and forth in my arms and sang to him.
Lilly I can take him now. Okay here I'm going to the store do you mind watching baby? No I'll be happy to. Okay thanks, I went to the store and got food for all of us.
Jesus can you help me with the grocerys please, I yelled. He came down stairs and went to my car and helped, get them and put them away also. Jesus grabbed my wrist and it hurt so bad I wanted to cry. Lilly why did you do this, he was mad. I-i don't know I was mad that Nathan left. Lilly I seen you hurt yourself before and I don't want you to do it again, so please promise me you won't do this again. I promise. Okay good now let's watch TV. I'm good I'm going to my room.
I went to my room and layed down. I looked at my phone and it was 1:38. So I plugged in my phone so it could charge, and I fell asleep.
