The Summer Of Callie

Chapter 5

"Well, I think I'm going to the library (in the house). If any of you need me, just text me or something." I left the living room and walked up the stairs to the second floor where there was a huge room filled with books lining up from wall to wall, and stacking up from the floor to the celling.

I sat in the library with my laptop. I started typing something onto Microsoft Word.

June 18, 2015

Dear whoever is reading this,

Hi, I am writing this to tell you about myself, my family/friends, and my story.

Let me start off by telling you about myself. My name is Callie Dixon. I'm 15 years old almost 16. I live in Colorado, USA and I live alone... you might be wondering why a 16 year old is living alone. Well, I'll tell you about that in a while. I look like your average 16 year old on the outside. But on the inside, I'm so much more. I'm nothing close to normal. You probably look at me and say, "Yeah that girl right there probably has tons of friends and never has a dull moment in her life." Well, I'm the complete opposite. I barely have any friends at school and sometimes, I don't have dull moments. But the rest of the time, I only have dull moments. I am a Sophomore in high school and I play volleyball. That's basically what I consist of.

Now onto my family, friends, and my story. I would like to start off by telling you I have a pretty f'd up life. When I was 9 years old, my mother passed away. We lived in Virginia at the time and it was winter there. She was driving to pick my brother up from the movie theater. Earlier that day, she kept telling my brother no because he was only 13 at the time. My brother kept on begging and begging and my mom finally gave in and drove him to the movie theater. So, after the movie, my mom got in the car to pick him up. This time I kept telling her no. There was a really bad ice storm and you couldn't see the road after about 20 feet ahead of you. I told her, "mommy, just let him stay with a friend. The weather is really bad. Don't drive in it." She just said no to me then got in her car. I ran out there and she rolled her window down and said, "I'll see you in a while. I love you. And make sure to stay inside, I don't want you to get sick." I said I love you in return and then I ran back inside. Anyways, my mom was driving to the movie theater. She was approaching an intersection so she slowed down. Then, her light turned green and she started driving again. Right when she passed the cross walk, she looked to her left to see another car coming. It couldn't stop. It ran the red light and hit the end of her car making it spin. Now, she was stuck in the intersection. She couldn't move anywhere so she was stuck. She was about to get out when she looked to her right to see a semi coming. It couldn't see her there so it just kept driving. He hit the drivers side of the car making her car roll 4 times. My dad and I were home when we got the call. We were in the living room drinking hot chocolate and watching the Christmas movies. We got a call so my dad went to answer it while I was still watching tv. I watched The Grinch until Breaking News popped up. The news said that there was an accident. It said what type of car got hit and what intersection it was. Right when I looked at my dad, he dropped the phone and it crashed to the floor. My dad ran to me, picked me up, got jackets, and ran outside. When we got to the hospital, they said it was too late. She died on impact.

That's when my dad's, brother's, and my life all went downhill. We moved to Colorado so we didn't have to deal with the memory of my mom. My dad started getting really bad when we moved. He started drinking and he became an alcoholic. After a year passed, my father got arrested for getting in a fight at the bar and killing the guy. My dad started fighting the officer and he has to spend the rest of his life in jail. My brother and I got put into foster care. My aunt stepped up to the plate and paid for insurance, stuff like that. Me and my brother always got the same parents until he turned 18. Then, he was too old to be in foster care so they took him out. I was all alone now. I was alone for a while until I got told he was missing. Then, I ran away from Foster Care. I asked my aunt to help buy a one room apartment for me. I was 14 at the time. Now all I have is my aunt and my friends.

When I started living alone, I got obsessed with this app called Vine. I started making vines and doing random stuff on there. Then, I got noticed by this organization called Magcon. I got asked to join it and I accepted. Right when I got there, I didn't feel alone anymore. The other teenagers also in Magcon soon became my friends. Now, they feel like family to me. They make me feel like someone. I told them my story and they helped me out of the deep hole I was in. I also have fans that I can talk to. They help me through rough times. So, I started feeling like a person again. I wasn't depressed anymore. I was happy.

Until one day, we all just got done with a meet and greet. We were back at the hotel playing truth or dare. One of the guys, his name is Jack Gilinsky, he asked me, "truth or dare" I said truth. He asked me this, "what's something in life that you miss?" Of course I said my mom, dad, and brother. He then started making fun of my family. I called him out on it and then it caused a huge fight between us. He started saying he hates me and that he wished my whole family was in the car not just my mom because we are all pathetic losers anyways. After the fight, all of the guys got mad at him. Some even threatened to beat him up. I just slapped him across the face and walked to our managers room. I told him I wanted to quit and I couldn't take it anymore.

After I quit, I went back home. I was alone again. I started believing the thinks Jack said.

It should've been me.
I'm worthless
I'm pathetic
I'm a loser
Everyone hates me

Then, I started thinking about other stuff.

I'm alone
No one loves me
I'm ugly
I'm not good enough

I paced around my apartment for so long. I threw stuff, broke stuff. I then went into my bathroom and got a razor out of the medicine cabinet. I rolled my sleeves up and placed the cold medal on my skin. Every cut was for a person.

First one was for my father
Second to my brother
Third to my mother
Fourth to the bullies
Fifth one for Jack. I cut deeper for him.

I got gauze out and cleaned up the mess and wrapped my arm.

That was the only time in my life I cut. You can only see one scar and that was the fifth cut I did.

After a couple weeks, I cleaned up my act and became less depressed.

Now a year later, here I am! I'm now in another organization called Digitour I'm with the same people I was with for Magcon. All of them are still my friends. Except Jack Gilinsky. He still hates me and I still hate him. I'm pretty sure the guys still secretly hate him for that fight too. They still don't know that I used to cut and I hope they never know. They sometimes ask what the one scare is from but I just simply say, "It was a cat." They believe it too.

Well, I hope someone finds this and reads it. I just want you to know that if you struggle through anything, you're not alone. You know all the stuff that happened to me and you know I got through it. I hope you get through your tough times too. Just know, I'm here for you. If you need to talk and you have a Twitter, you can message me. My Twitter will be at the bottom of the letter. I love you and thank you for reading this letter♡
Sincerely,
C. Dixon

P. S. My Twitter is @CallieDixon11

As I finish the letter, I hear my phone buzz. I wipe away a few stray tears that are rolling down my cheeks. I check my phone and Hayes texted me.

From: Hayes~ hey do you want to come to the basement and play truth or dare with us?

I shake my head, "Of course they play truth or dare." I whisper to myself. I unlock my phone and reply.

To: Hayes~ Sure I'll be down in a few minutes.

I lock my phone only to have Hayes reply right back.

From: Hayes~ K :)

I set my phone down and go back to my computer. I quickly save this and shut my computer down. No one knows my password so they won't get to the letter.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Okay so I won't do that goal thing because I don't have enough people reading this yet😂

But I hope this didn't kill you guys. It's pretty sad and I didn't mean for it too😅

I'll post soon!