His name was Nathaniel

102

Adaliya rose from the chair, the silence in the clinic room suffocating. She wasn't sure what she was feeling—guilt? Sadness? Confusion?

Nathaniel had just walked out, leaving behind an odd, heavy weight in the air.

Before she could fully process it, the door swung open, and Violet stepped in, her expression tight with concern.

"What happened?" she asked immediately, eyes darting between Adaliya and the empty space where Nathaniel had stood just minutes ago.

Adaliya swallowed, pressing a hand to her forehead. "The test was a false alarm," she murmured. "I'm not pregnant."

Violet frowned, glancing toward the door. "Then why did Nathaniel leave like that?"

Adaliya hesitated, then sighed. "Because... I think he wanted it to be real."

For a moment, Violet said nothing, but her expression softened in understanding. "Oh."

There wasn't much else to say.

They left the clinic together, stepping into the cool evening air. Nathaniel's drivers were waiting for them by the entrance, the sleek black car parked under the dim glow of streetlights.

But Nathaniel was nowhere in sight.

Violet slid into the car first, but something in Adaliya's chest tightened. She lingered by the entrance, scanning the area. And then—

She saw him.

Nathaniel stood at a secluded spot a short distance away, where the clinic's elevated position offered a view of the city skyline. His back was to her, hands in his coat pockets, shoulders slightly hunched.

As she approached, she caught the faintest movement—his hand brushing against his cheek, almost too quickly.

He had wiped away a tear.

Adaliya's steps slowed. "Nathaniel?"

His posture straightened instantly, as if startled. He turned halfway toward her but didn't fully meet her gaze. "You should be in the car," he said, voice carefully neutral.

Adaliya ignored that. "What's wrong?"

Nathaniel let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. "What isn't?"

She stepped closer. "Nathaniel."

He finally looked at her. His eyes were slightly red-rimmed, though his expression was unreadable. He hesitated, then let out a quiet, almost defeated sigh.

"Is it bad?" he murmured. "That I wished you were pregnant?"

Adaliya's heart clenched.

"No," she said softly. "It's not bad."

His lips pressed into a thin line.

She hesitated, then added, "But... I wouldn't have been ready. I know how much you wanted it, but Nathaniel, I—"

"You don't understand," he cut in, his voice suddenly sharper, more strained.

Adaliya blinked. "Then help me understand."

Nathaniel exhaled through his nose, his hands curling into fists in his pockets. He looked away for a moment, staring at the city lights.

"I don't even know if I'll ever get to have my own children," he admitted, his voice quieter now, but weighted with something heavy.

A chill ran down Adaliya's spine. "What do you mean?"

He finally turned back to her, his blue eyes stormy with frustration and something almost like fear. "I'm sick, Adaliya." His voice wavered. "I don't know how much time I have left. I don't know if I'll ever be able to—" He stopped himself, jaw clenching.

Adaliya took a step closer, her own emotions rising to the surface. "Don't talk like that," she said firmly. "You don't know what will happen. You—"

"I do know," he snapped, his control slipping. "And that's the problem."

Adaliya stared at him, her own heart pounding. She hated hearing him talk like this—like he had already accepted defeat. Like he had already given up.

But then Nathaniel's expression shifted, his frustration turning into something more desperate.

"I want children, Adaliya," he confessed. "I want a family. Soon."

Her breath hitched.

"And I want to marry you," he added, his voice steady now. "Soon."

Adaliya felt her stomach drop.

She had known, deep down, that this was where things were heading. But to hear him say it so plainly, so seriously—

Her throat tightened.

"Nathaniel," she started carefully. "I love you. But I'm not ready for that."

His brows furrowed.

"I have dreams," she continued, her voice gaining strength. "I have goals. I worked so hard to get here. I can't just... drop everything and rush into marriage and children just because you're afraid of time running out."

Nathaniel's eyes darkened. "That's not what this is about."

"Isn't it?"

His jaw tightened. "You don't understand, Adaliya. You've never had to think about time like I do."

Adaliya inhaled sharply. "And you've never had to think about giving up your future for someone else's wishes."

His face twisted in frustration. "You make it sound like I'm asking you to give up something—"

"You are," she snapped, her voice rising. "You're asking me to make life-altering decisions because you're afraid. And that's not fair."

Nathaniel's chest rose and fell rapidly. "I'm not trying to trap you, Adaliya."

"Then what do you call this?"

His hands twitched in his pockets. "I call it loving someone enough to want a future with them."

Adaliya let out a bitter laugh. "You think I don't love you? That I don't want a future with you?" She exhaled sharply. "But I want to take my time, Nathaniel. I want to live before I settle down."

Nathaniel's expression hardened. "And what if I don't have time?"

The words hit her like a punch to the gut.

She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

Nathaniel's voice was quieter now, but no less intense. "I don't have the luxury of waiting, Adaliya. You do. But I don't." His throat bobbed. "That's why I wanted this. That's why... when I thought you were pregnant, I—" He stopped himself, closing his eyes briefly. "I thought maybe... maybe I could have something certain. Something real before it's too late."

Adaliya's eyes burned. "Nathaniel... you don't even know what's going to happen."

"That's the point," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "I don't know. And I hate not knowing."

The weight of his words pressed down on her chest.

Silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating.

Then, finally, Adaliya spoke.

"I love you," she said, her voice raw. "But I can't do this on your timeline."

Nathaniel's shoulders tensed.

"I'm not ready to be a mother," she whispered. "Or a wife. Not yet."

Nathaniel exhaled, slow and shaky. He didn't say anything for a long time.

Then, finally—

"Okay."

It was quiet. Barely above a whisper.

But something about the way he said it made Adaliya feel like it wasn't okay at all.