The Life I Live

I Failed #5

I feel to realize that my eyes was closed I fail to realize I couldn't trust no one all the confusion the fusing was just too much for me.I keep trying to keep my head up. I've been with Virginia for one year now which is my foster mom she is such a great woman she really takes care of me she protects me she told me that if one thing she know about me is that Im strong. I looked her and said do you really think I'm strong do you really ! She says baby girl your bright you going to have a big future whatever happens just know I'm by your side. My sister walked in the room and said see naynay We got a family now. I love you and I'll do anything for you.I was just happy I smiled at all of them and give them all hugs and went outside to play basketball at this time I don't know what my mom and my father's doing last time I heard my dad was in jail and my mom was somewhere just out and I got in contact with my auntie and brothers there was doing fine but always wondered is this how my life supposed to be. My sister told me she's going to the movies and told me to stay home I told her I don't want to stay here by myself I don't care how nice they are to us something just don't feel right my sister said what you mean I said something don't feel right. I tried everything to keep my sister home. So she ended up staying home we got a call saying we have a court date saying that we might get released to my mom and that she is fighting to get you guys back. first thing came to my head was no why she's trying now why she want us now what makes her think we even look at her as a mom what makes you think she's ready to be a mother why did she let all these things happened to me I don't ever want to see her again my life is going good right now. I cant do it she let things happen to me and she laughed at it like I wasn't her daughter. I told my foster mom I looked that her dead in the face and said are you going to let us go back to her is this what you want I thought you was going to protect us I thought you said you weren't going to let nothing happened to me. She said there's nothing I can do these are the court people I cant do anything baby I'm sorry but if you ever need me I'm here I'm just a phone call away I looked at her and everybody else in there took one deep breath and said No this is what y'all want y'all want me to leave you want me to hurt again . So I'm just in tears I pack my stuff and ran away I'm 15 now so I had a few friends I couldn't see myself going back I couldn't see myself being in that house this hurting me I went to my friends front door and cryed to her she said its going to be ok just give yourself time I said what is going on what it is ! like what is going on ! I don't know what to do anymore I was lost in my own state of mind. I failed to see what was coming my way .