I'M NOT EVEN LIVING IM FUCKING SURVIVING. LIVING IN HELL I DONT EVEN CARE IF I DIE ANYMORE. IM TIRED TO BE HONEST. MY NAME IS **** ****** AND I WANT TO DIE. I'M ONLY HERE FOR MY BEST FRIEND ******** ******. ONLY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IF I LET GO SHE'LL TOO, AND I DON'T WANT THAT. FUCK EVERYONE WHO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT, EVERYONE WHO HASN'T NOTICED THAT I CUT AFTER ALL THE HINTS THAT I'VE GIVEN AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS "OK". IM FUCKING OVER IT. I WON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THE WAY I FEEL AT SCHOOL. AS I WRITE THIS THE TEARS THAT I HAVEN'T FELT IN THE LONGEST FALL FROM MY FACE, AND I CANT STOP IT. EVERYTHING IN THIS DAMN PLACE IS BLAMED ON ME NO MATTER WHAT IT IS THERE ARE TWO OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE, COULD THEY NOT HAVE DONE IT MOTHER? YOU TREAT ME LIKE THE FUCKING MAID. AM I REALLY SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE? YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW I'M LAZY IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW HARD I TRY TO STAY ALIVE. YOU'RE ALWAY THREATENING ME SAYING YOU CAN KILL ME BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT ME INTO THUS WORLD. BITCH I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HOW YOU BIRTHED ME, BECAUSE THATS ALL YOU DID YOU GAVE ME LIFE FOR THE FIRST 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE. AFTER THAT YOU JUST STOPPED CARING. THE MOST FUCKED UP THING FOR YOU TO EVER HEAR YOUR MOTHER SAY, IS THAT IF SHE'D FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU SOONER YOU'D HAVE BEEN ABORTED, OR THAT YOU MAKE HER WANNA KILL HERSELF, AND MAKE HER WANNA DO ALL THESE HORRIBLE THINGS TO YOU. I MEAN DAMN IS THERE A LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN'T TELL A CHILD AT THE AGE OF 8-13. YEP, SHE'S BEEN MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT FROM THE AGE OF 8 TO BE EXACT AROUND OCTOBER. YES, I KNOW THAT YOU LOST BOTH YOUR PARENTS BUT I LOST BOTH OF MY GRANDPARENTS. OH, AND DID I TELL YOU THAT MY FAMILY DECIDED TO HAVE MY GRANDMAS WAKE ON MY FYCKING BIRTHDAY. BUT, THAT BITCH COULD CARE LESS. I'VE TRIED TO BE STRONG FOR EVERYONE ELSE AND I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE I NEED SOMEONE BE STRONG FOR ME TOO. BUT, HONESTLY I KNOW THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH WORSE LIVES AND I SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN AND I REALLY TRY NOT TO, BUT SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T HELP BUT TO THINK ABOUT A BETTER LIFE. I LIVE FOR ONLY ONE PERSON AND THATS MY BEST FRIEND, WHEN I SAY FUCK EVERYONE ELSE I MEAN FUCK THEM THEY AREN'T KEEPING ME HERE BECAUSE I FEEL THAT IF I WERE TO LEAVE TONIGHT SHE'D BE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WOULD CARE, BECAUSE SHE LITERALLY WAS AND IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ENOUGH TO CHECK MY WRIST, EVEN BEFORE I STARTED TO CUT SHE WOUKD CHECK THEM BECAUSE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I SAID. SHE TRULY CARES FOR ME AND LOVES ME NO MATTER WHAT AND IT'S THE SAME WAY AROUND. BUT IM SORRY FOR COMPLAINING I DON'T DESERVE TO. I NEED TO SUCK IT UP AND BE STRONG AGAIN UNTILL MY NEXT BREAKDOWN THAT I HOPE NEVER HAPPENS.
