Carol- what came after

-5- twist in events

new chapter!! <3

-----------------------

After Carol's somewhat unreadable mood, which had been going on for several days now, Therese stopped talking to her about it, dropping the whole topic all at once. Short answers, sometimes passive-aggressive comments that left her too stunned to speak, as if she were annoyed at Therese for even daring to care about her well-being, were part of the daily conversations they shared. Carol was not in a good place, Therese could tell, but she didn't quite manage to put her finger on what was going through her head, nor how to help her. Whether it was because of Rindy, Harge, or because she didn't see Abby in a few weeks time. Her hazy eyes didn't give a single clue as to what was going through her mind at all, not at any time.

"You're awfully quiet," Carol sighed. "Again,"

Therese looked up from painting her nails. They sat together in the living room all morning, yet not a single conversation took place. She closed the lid and looked at Carol, who was eyeing her from the little sofa in their living room. The book on her lap, Tender is the Night, by Fitzgerald, was long closed already.

"You never want to talk when I try to," Therese said, and turned around again and wiped some nail polish she had accidentally dripped onto the table away. The bordeaux red colour left a noticeable stain on the old mahogany table, a red ring, already half-dried. Therese put one of her books on top of it to cover it up and prevent Carol from seeing, knowing she was already in a bad mood all morning.

"Don't get like that," Carol muttered and got up, walking to the desk where her lover was seated, looking through the drawer, pushing it closed with slight violence.

"Just when you think it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes," She sighed, sitting down on the chair next to Therese.

"Is there something bothering you? You just never tell me," Therese said hesitantly as Carol eyed her from the side, sighing softly, before staring down at her hands, which she gently fidgeted, a soothing gesture she would do all the time when uncomfortable or stressed.

"There's so much going on right now, Therese, you should know. I do know I'm not always exactly present, you don't have to remind me all the time,"

"Then tell me what is going on inside your head. I want to understand, at least try to,"

Carol smiled slightly, and her eyes seemed to soften, some of the cold melting away for a split second. "You're too good for this world," Carol hushed and turned to face her lover directly for the first time. "I feel like going on a walk. Perhaps, the park? Right now? The sun just came out."

The sudden turn of topic didn't go unnoticed, and Therese, again, didn't know how to interpret the odd change in her mood. "Sure," she only mumbled, standing up and following Carol to the door.

In the park, they walked side by side, in a somewhat comfortable silence. The morning light was dimly filtering through the leaves, and the fog over the lake created a slightly witchy atmosphere. One could see their breath; it was cold—Autumn incoming. Strangers sitting on park benches, having mindless conversations, holding hands, laughing. The observed, seemingly easy intimacy of others made Therese want to reach out and hold hands with Carol herself- yet Carol wasn't a public lover, perhaps would never be, and most touches and acts of affection happened quietly, behind closed doors.

"I'd appreciate it to know what you truly want, generally speaking, and from me, especially. You never let me know, never truly let me in. Or trust me. Isn't that what love is all about?" Therese asked in a quiet tone, finally feeling brave enough to speak up in the deafening silence as they walked along the little lake.