𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑛 / 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑔

S3 ch 81

I have a bad habit of writing angst stuff listening to Adele or Lana del rey anyway lets get into the story 🤍

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At first, Jiwon tried.

He took the meds the doctor prescribed, showed up to therapy, even smiled a little more around the others. He sat at the table for meals, nodding along to the stories Felix and Hyunjin told. He laughed when Seungmin said something sarcastic, even made silly flower crowns for Jeongin out of leftover blooms.

But inside—it was war.

Every bite of food felt like swallowing guilt. Every mirror showed him a stranger. His body wasn’t his; it was a battlefield of judgment and hate.

He started hiding again.

After eating with the others, he’d excuse himself politely.

Jiwon (smiling faintly):
“Be right back. Gonna wash my hands.”

They believed him—at first. But Rafayel watched his footsteps, slow and heavy, towards the bathroom.

He started noticing the signs.

The quiet retching. The way Jiwon came back with red-rimmed eyes. The way he clutched the edge of the sink like the world was crumbling beneath his fingers.

Rafayel (softly, one night):
“Jiwon… are you okay?”

Jiwon (quickly):
“Yeah. Just a bit of a headache.”

But the lie hung heavy between them.

Sometimes, Jiwon would curl up on the bathroom floor, his body shaking violently. His fingers trembled as he reached for another pill—just one more. Then two. Then three. Sometimes more. Hoping it would numb the ache in his chest. Hoping to silence the voice that hissed in his head.

“You’re nothing.”

“You’re a burden.”

“You’ll never be good enough for him.”

He’d claw at his skin, trying to escape the noise. Tiny lines of pain on his thighs and arms, hidden beneath oversized sweaters and long sleeves.

One night, Rafayel came home early. The house was quiet. Too quiet.

He knocked on the bathroom door. No answer.

He pushed it open.

Jiwon was slumped by the tub, trembling, his lips pale, a bottle of sleeping pills tipped over beside him.

Rafayel (panicking):
“Jiwon?! Jiwon—hey, stay with me. Look at me.”

Jiwon blinked slowly, tears spilling silently. His voice barely above a whisper.

Jiwon:
“I’m tired, Rafayel… I just wanted to feel nothing.”

Rafayel dropped to his knees, pulling Jiwon into his arms, his heart pounding against Jiwon’s chest like it could bring him back to life.

Rafayel:
“No. No, please—don’t do this. Don’t leave me. I can’t lose you. I love you too much. We’ll get help. I’ll do anything—just… don’t give up.”

Jiwon clung to him, sobbing, broken.

Jiwon:
“I’m sorry… I tried… I just wanted to be enough.”

Rafayel (tears falling):
“You are. You’ve always been. Even at your lowest, you’re everything to me. I’ll carry you through this. I swear.”

Jiwon was rushed to the hospital again. They pumped his stomach. Kept him overnight. When he woke up, Rafayel was still there, head bowed beside the bed, holding Jiwon’s hand like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to the world.