𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐲 𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧

15 - crazy crazy crazy girl

˖*࿐ •*⁀➷

ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, Mabel excused herself to take a shower, though she didn't hear Percy or Hazel's response through her haze. She walked dazedly through one of the bedrooms and into the attached bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

Her bag thumped to the tiled floor as she pressed her back against the closed door, heartbeat pounding in her ears. The voices were loud now, in a way they hadn't been in months. Mabel thought faintly how this was how her father must have felt, with other people living inside his head.

Poor little mad girl. Insane, just like she was born to be.

She hit the floor before she even realized her knees had given out. That foreign anger was back, gnawing at her insides like a rabid animal, burning its way through her flesh and bone. Her organs were lined with broken glass, ripping at her every time she breathed, and she let out a choked sort of inhuman noise.

Barely able to think straight, Mabel moved to slump against the side of the shower, fumbling for the handle and turning on the water to muffle the sounds of her breakdown. Episodes, Jason used to call them, which just made her sound crazier. Times when the insanity that flowed through her veins made a prominent appearance, wrapping its dirty hands around her mind and squeezing until she was sure her brain would pop like a balloon.

Her mouth was moving, just barely, mumbled words slipping from her lips with no meaning. A bunch of nonsense, jumbled phrases that flashed through her mind like lightning. Schizophasia was the scientific term that Jason has found, but it was more commonly called word salad, which was just embarrassingly pathetic.

If Mabel were to be checked in at a mental institution, her medical diagnosis would likely have been somewhere on the schizophrenia spectrum. Auditory and visual hallucinations, disorganized behavior, negative symptoms— the list went on and on. She was a textbook schizophrenic. Sometimes, she wondered if the whole 'curse' thing wasn't real and she was just actually insane. It seemed a little less far-fetched every time she found herself locked in a bathroom, tearing out her hair.

The voices were grating, violent, chanting words she couldn't make out, and Mabel slammed her fist into the side of her head in a desperate attempt to get them to just fucking shut up. The sound of the running water drowned out the sharp thud of her hand against her skull, and steam started to fog the mirrors in the bathroom, saving her from the embarrassment of having to watch herself devolve into madness.

It almost felt like she wasn't in herself, like she was in someone else's body, watching them have a fucking psychotic episode. She couldn't be going crazy, could she? But you are the crazy one, Mabel, it's you. You're going insane.

"Stop stop stop stop stop stop—" The words fell from her lips in choked gasps. Fuck, how did she stop this? What did Jason usually do when she faded from reality?

Mabel was curled on the ground, hands covered in sticky red, her shoulders shaking as she pressed her back against the wall. "No, no no no no, I didn't mean to—" Something was wrapping around her throat, squeezing. She saw all of them, standing there, looking at her. They just stared, so much hatred and fear in their eyes, and Mabel normally didn't give a fuck about what any of these idiots thought, but these stares made her feel like she was being ripped apart.

It doesn't feel good, does it, Pelides? The killing. The power. Nothing but stars snuffed out beneath your touch. Your sanity is of no worth compared to your reputation, and yet, you've now lost both.