Secretly I'm Crazy For U (R5 fan fiction) *EDITING IN PROGRESS*

Secrelty Im Crazy For U (R5 fan fiction) ch19

I cry outside until the the others come outside and I quickly wipe my tears. Rocky walks over to me and opens his mouth to say something but I stop him, "stop! I don't want to hear anything right now! Just leave me alone!" I say sharply.

He looks hurt then shrugs and walks off. We drive home in silence except when Ryland hits his arm (the one I punched) on the side of the car and screams.

When we get home I go to my room and shut the door, I flop down on my bed and wonder how my life could have gone from amazing to horrid in such a short amount of time.

There's a knock on my door, "go away!" I yell. Not even looking over at my door just staring at the ceiling. Whoever it is doesn't listen and comes in anyway. I look over about to yell t the person and see Rydel. I lay my head back down and sigh, Rydel might be able to help me.

"Nova what happened." Rydel says in more of a statement then a question.

I sigh again an sit up, "Rocky and I kissed last night and we decided to tell Riker today and when we told him he kinda freaked out and then Rocky said that it hadnt meant anything and when Riker asked me that I couldn't answer with no. When I tried to say something he told me to leave and when I didn't he yelled at me and the. You know what happens after that." I tell her.

She looks at me aghast and says, "wow ....... But why couldn't you say no I thought you liked Riker, you still like Riker right?" she asks suddenly even new interested.

"yes I still like Riker, I love Riker! But the thing is I kinda have a thing for all of the Lynch boys and Ratliff cuz well I dunno I think they are all incredible amazing! Your incredibly amazing to but that would be kind of weird!" I say then look at Rydel hoping she understands.

She nods and then says, "I think I get what your talking about, you should tell Riker that he'll understand."

"thanks Rydel but I don't want to he actually yelled at me the only other time he has done that is the day he aske me out! I don't think I want to face that again." I tell her tears welling up in my eyes and a lump in my throat rising. No! I tell myself no more crying! Crying is for the weak, you arnt weak.

Rydel nods, "ok, well tell me if you change your mind I'll drive you to the hospital." with that she stands up and leaves the room. I lay back down on my bed and blown out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.

Geez drama! I hate drama, at school I stay as far away from drama as I possibly can. Now I fin my self in the center of drama and its my fault!!

There's another knock on the door and assuming its Rydel I wait for her to open the door. It's not Rydel its Rocky the last person I want to see at the moment. "go away" I scowl.

He opens his mouth, "go away!" I tell him again. "Nova-" "I SAID GO AWAY! BASICALLY THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! EVERYTHING!" I yell at him suddenly losing my temper, why can't he leave me alone it's all his fault! He kissed me! Well you kissed him back, a voice in the back of my head tells me. I push that thought away.

I see a tear streaks down Rockys face but he wipes it away and in not sure it was even there. "I just want to let you know I talked to Rydel and she told me what you said just now and I'm going to talk to Riker!" he says as fast as he can. Then he turns and walks out of my room.

I get up and hobble over to my desk were I get a piece of paper and write in red sharpie: GO AWAY! with that I tape it to the outside of my door and hope it works.

I had just lay down on my bed when someone knocks on my door, again! Why can't people just leave me alone! I don't want to talk to people! Before I can tell whoever it is to go away they walk in anyway. It's Ross and Ryland.

"can you guys just please leave me alone please?" I plead my anger gone and replaced with sadness. Ross nods and Ryland says, "we just came to tell you that Rockys on the phone with Riker at this very moment and that dinner is ready. Want any?"

I shake my head, I have absolutely no appetite at the moment(if you can guess why) and say, "thanks guys." they mumble a your welcome and leave the room. Finally alone!

I must have been crazy tired cuz as soon as I lay down on my bed I feel asleep in my clothes, shoes and all. I wake up the next morning and see Rocky sitting on my beanbag chair.

"how long have you been there?" I ask suddenly unnerved. "about three hours." he replies. I sit up quickly, owww my head (I cant move sharply yet) "do you know how creepy that is!?"

Rocky blushes, "sorry I was just waiting for you to wake up, your really cute when you sleep you know." now it's my turn to blush, "Riker told me that once." I mumble, Riker I miss him so much, I feel so bad for kissing Rocky, I feel so bad for enjoying the taste of Rockys soft lips against mine.

No! No thinking of Rocky like that he like, like, like a brother to me! Riker is the one I want the one I need. Rocky finally starts talking again, "well I talked to Riker yesterday and he said that he'll think about what you/I said."

"thanks Rocky especially after I yelled at you yesterday." I tell him. "it's ok you were upset, and I couldn't help but help you your like a sister to me!" he gives me a hug and walks out of the room.

For the next three days I stay in my room thinking and thinking and thinking. Rydel visits me two times a day and brings me food against my request.

On the third day I see the spot a pair of scissors, I've always heard cutting relieved stress and I'm under a lot of stress! I walk over and pick them up, they look sharp enough. I position them on my wrist and am about to press down when my door bursts open and someone steps in.

"don't you even think about that!" an extremely familiar voice tells me, I look up and am so surprised at what I see I drop the scissors. Rikers standing right there!

"Riker!" I exclaim but am cut off when Riker takes a step forward and crushes his lips against mine. It's like a lightening bolt struck me! The sweet tase of Rikers familiar lips, the ones I've longed for, for so long, invades my senses and I'm lost in a world of longing. I hope he can feel how sorry I really am just from that kiss.

We finally break apart and he pulls me into the tightest hug he could manage with one arm in a cast and a wierd sort of brace thing that protects his broken collarbone. "Riker I'm so sorry!" I whisper.

He looks down at me and I know he heard me, "I'm sorry to Nova, Rocky explained stuff to me and I realized I'd over reacted. Do you forgive me?" I reply by smashing my lips against his again and he laughs.

My life is back to normal, I am happy, and I have Riker back. Thats all that really matters is that I have Riker back. My life is complete, for now.

~~~~HEYYY IT'S A HAPPY CHAPTER!!! I DUNNO IF IT'S CORNY OR NOT BUT I DONT CARE I LOVE IT HOW IT IS!!! IM SO LONELY! I DON'T GET LIKE ANY COMMENTS ANYMORE I MISS MY COMMENTS! I TRY TO REPLY TO ALL OF THEM TO SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT!! ASTA LAVISTA SUCKERS!!!!~~~~