self-protection

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i have never felt anything

that light and warm before.

then - something shifted.

not loud,

but just enough.

and all at once,

my walls were raised again.

not intentionally -

something inside of me did it for me.

that part of me that steps in

to keep me from giving too much

and getting too little -

i know it is there to help me.

and most times i am thankful for it.

but this time,

it feels like a burden.

because for the first time ever,

something was just simple and magical.

but now its gone

and i dont know

if i will ever get it back.

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