Now You Notice Me

What have I done? Ch.3

     "Why would you of all people apologize to me Kevin Barr?". I don't know why but when he used my last name it gave me the same feeling that you get when your mom yells at you and uses your full name. I mean I guess that is what's happening but just not my mom and this kind of annoyed me.
     "I just felt bad about earlier and wanted to clear things up"
     "Our little altercation this morning was nothing. Just be glad that I didn't feel like teaching you a lesson jockstrap". What the heck man I'm trying to apologize and he's just insulting me .... However I do applaud him because if I wasn't being the one insulted I would have laughed at that.
     "Oh please dork I could handle you. You may look big an scary but I know that your still that little nerd from before". I'm just trying to keep my end up in this argument right now because to be honest I don't know if I could beat him in a fight.
     Edd was taller than me by a lot and now that we are closer and since he is only in his speedo and gym trunks I can see how defined his body is. He is still very thin but he is very built and pretty solid. His arms aren't as wide as mine are but I know that in a fight he would defiantly beat my with strategy.
     "What was that?" He asked in a threatening tone. I kind of regret poking the bear now. I was here to apologize and now he's angry.
     "Nothing just that I could probably beat you in a fight is all". Ahh what am I doing I'm just egging him on now. And I was right, not just about me egging him on but about him being a strategic fighter. He swept my legs with one of his and now had me pinned underneath him on the ground.
     I don't want to lose again to him so I struggle to get my own advantage. I eventually do but Edd isn't ready to give up and we scuffle around trying to gain dominance on each other. But eventually I give in and he has me pinned once again but I have leverage on him. My leg is tightly wrapped around the outside of his making it impossible for him to try anything. One of my arms is wrapped around his at the elbow and my other had I'd pinned at the wrist by him off to the side. Because of this difficult positioning our faces are barely inches from each other.
     This is pointless. None of this is going as planned. "Ok look dork this isn't accomplishing anything. All I wanted to do was apologize. Why are you so agitated by me?"
     "You putty me don't you?"
     "What?"
     "I heard you talking to Ed out side the locker room"
    "Oh"
    "Ya oh. Now you feel like you can make it up to me don't you"
     "What no I don't pitty you I just ... I'm surprised to see what happened to you"
     "What happened to me? This didn't just happen. I was there the whole time and you didn't even notice or care. You bullied me for years and then poof it's like I never existed. Like all the pain I went through meant nothing.  Never forgot you. You haunted my nightmares but you kept living the highlife like I wasn't even a bump in the road. You forget about me for years and you think you can just feel sorry for me now that some one hurt me and it wasn't you?!?!"
     He was furious. His voice boomed and his grip tightened but his eyes ... His beautiful eyes looked like they broke. That hard dark gaze that he always wore just vanished. These are they eyes I remembered. His eyes were so pained but they also begged to be saved still. He then snapped out of it and began to smirk. What was he smirking at?
     I felt a small drop of water trickle down the side of my face to my ear. I now realize that I was crying. What that hell! I'm crying? I don't cry! Why am I crying?!?! I felt completely uncomfortable in this situation ... I felt naked. I needed to get up. So I tried to free myself.
     "Where you trying to go Kevin? Can't take the weight of the blame and now you're trying to run away?"
     "No I just want to get as far away form you as possible!"
     "Aww now Kevin that wasn't very nice of you, that hurt my feelings. Don't you like me?"
     "No I hate what you are now!"
     "What I am now? I'm pretty sure you always hated me no matter if I was a piss ant little nerd or a monster. After all you did bully me. Or did you just bully me to have fun?"
     "What no"
     "What was it then? Did you get a kick out of beating me to a pulp?
     "No"
     "Did you get a hard on because you felt all big and powerful because you could beat me up?"
     "No!"
     "Did you have a little crush on me and took your frustration out on me?"
    "NO!"
     At this point I was to angry that I was able to throw him off of me. I wish I could say that all I did but my anger didn't stop there. I pounced on top of him and punched him square in the face. I only punched him once but that all I needed to break not only him but myself. The instant I realized what I had done I  saw how broken Edd looked. And that shattered my heart. I now know that even though he's this big bad tough guy ... He's still the little boy how was hurt his whole life.
     "What have I done?" I whisper to myself but this makes Edd up from his shock and throws me a clear 5 feet away and storms off to the locker room with out a word. What have I done?