Weight of Living // Bellamy Blake

Monster

The metal floor wasn't the comfiest, but the drop ship was the safest place for me. Though sleeping in my bunk would be a lot more comfortable, I realise I will probably never sleep in that bed again. I will never step foot in my village again. The thought of it pains me. I would only see my home again if I outlived Lexa. Honestly, I do not see that happening, especially with the way my life was going. It's a miracle that I'm not already dead.

The echo of loud boots ricochet through the drop ship, causing me to be on edge. I move slowly and quietly behind a storage box, hoping this would keep me out of sight. I was weak and outnumbered. I stay low and attempt to steady my breath.
The boots, now accompanied by voices, draw closer to me. Don't make a sound.
I guess that there is around three of them. A female along with a couple of males. Fortunately for me, the three stay near the door.
"They should be here by now." The girl complains, growing more and more impatient.
"Relax." A male mutters, arrogantly. I can almost feel the ice-cold glares the girl is giving him. "They're fine."
That voice. I recognise it. Anger builds up within me. It was him. The evil bastard that knocked me out and threatened me. Murphy. It takes all my strength to stay quiet.
In situations like this, the warriors and I had been taught to fight. To have some sort of justice. I wasn't part of their world anymore, I couldn't follow their way of life.

There's a rustle coming from outside the drop ship. More Skaikru, I sigh.
The body closest to my hiding spot leaps up, rushing to the entrance. A panicked tone takes over the ship.
"What happened?" Worry fills the booming voice. Bellamy? No, why would he be back here.
"Grounder," The new male attempts to catch his breath, "Hit her on the head."
"Put her here." The evil boy pipes up. Who knew he had a heart.
The four rush around in panic, attempting to help the unconscious girl.
"I need a bandaid. A rag. Anything." Bellamy barks his orders.
Heavy boots approach my hideout. Shit. I was about to be caught.
"I got it!" I'm relieved as Murphy shouts from the other side of the room, causing the soldier to rush back to Bellamy's side.
More panicked motions echo through the drop ship before Bellamy speaks up again. "Clarke," His concern is sincere. The boy didn't want to lose another, "Can you hear me?"
At this moment, I'm conflicted. The group doesn't have any knowledge on healing, whereas I do. If I stay quiet, Clarke could end up being seriously harmed. Yet, if I speak up, they may just kill me.
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to help. Clarke is my lukot; the only one of the skaikru to show me kindness. I stand up, slowly and reluctantly, holding my breath as I walk over to the unconscious girl. The others are alarmed, two of which aiming their guns at me. I try to block them out, focusing solely on helping Clarke. Bellamy flinches slightly as I kneel down beside him.
"Clarke." He mutters again, helplessly, "You're gonna be fine."
I carefully place my hand over his, reassuringly. He nods slightly, allowing me to look over her. She'll be okay, I sigh in relief.
"Hey," I address the panicking boy pacing back and forth. He looks beyond worried, obviously feeling guilty, "It's just a bump on the head. Clarke's going to be okay."
The other girl nods at me, before turning to him. "Finn," She seems somewhat relieved, "We'll figure this out."
"That's what she said," his voice is filled with regret and anger, "Right before I almost got her killed." Finn pushes past the girl, storming out of the drop ship. Reluctantly, she follows him.

I turn back to Bellamy, confused by what just happened.
"I bet this is just a pleasure to watch." Murphy spits at me.
"Bellamy," I ignore Murphy's remarks, "What's going on?"
"Your precious commander wants Finn dead." Murphy answers me.
It seems that Bellamy is ignoring me at all costs.
"What?" Murphy looks at me as if I was stupid. It clicks. Finn's the one behind the village massacre.
"Your little commander wants revenge." Murphy speaks again.
"Justice." I correct him, "Jus drein jus daun."
The two look at me, perplexed.
"Blood must have blood. He murdered thirteen innocent people. The commander wants justice." I sigh.
Lexa would torture him. Finn must feel the pain of each life he took; when it's over, the commander will kill him. No one ever makes it that far.
I want to feel sorry for him, but I knew the people in that village. I grew up there. The people killed were my neighbours and friends.