Faces Of You ✔

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   "I'm home. Hyejin's governess called me apparently Hyejin skipped her cello lesson today, so now Hyewon wants me to talk with Hyejin to see what happened," Hyunjin said as he walked into the living room.

   He stopped in his tracks when he saw Felix sitting on the couch with a suitcase in front of him. Hyunjin pursed his lips and held his keys a little tighter. 

  "Did something happen?" Hyunjin asked.

  Felix took a breath and stood up, "I have a case that is going to go one for about seven weeks and it is in Seattle..." 

 "That's not it though is it?" 

 The younger shook his head, "I think I just need a minute before we move forward. I think that maybe we both need a minute to truly make sure that we actually want to go through with this," 

  "I don't need time to know that I want to marry you. Felix, I have had more than enough to know that I want a life with you in it," Hyunjin stated.

  "I understand, but I just think that we should take some time and make sure this is actually what we both want," Felix said softly.

  Hyunjin wanted to understand. He did, but he just couldn't understand. It took them years to get where they are.

   "Why all of a sudden?"

   Felix pursed his lips, "Somebody pointed out to me something about our relationship and I don't know... I just need to make sure that I am ready to go through with this," he said.

   The older nodded, "Where are you going to be staying when you are in Seattle, just so I know in case of emergencies,"

  "All the information for the hotel, the courthouse, the people I am working with, and my parents is written down on a note on the fridge,"

  "Okay." Hyunjin muttered.

  Felix took a breath, "I know I'm not going to be here for Hyejinnie's birthday, but I'll send her a message and Hyewon has her present from me already.... uhm, I should go. I have to meet the other lawyer at the airport,"

   Hyunjin reached out and held Felix's hand gently, "Text me when you land so I know you're safe. I love you,"

    Felix leaned up slightly and kissed Hyunjin gently, "I love you," he said softly.

  Hyunjin watched Felix leave. It was difficult, but Felix needed time and Hyunjin would give him that.

~

  "Hey, you're here. I thought you were going to come in a couple days," 

  Felix took a breath, "I was but, uhm, I decided to come earlier especially since I am lead on this case," 

   The woman put a gentle hand on Felix's shoulder, "Lix, is everything okay?" Maria asked.

  The younger pursed his lips and began to pick at his nails, "My fiancé and I are taking the time of this case to think about if we actually want to get married," Felix told her.

  "Who wanted the time?"

  "I did... but I don't know," 

 Maria hummed, "What does he think?"

   "He wants to get married to me," Felix said.

  "So, why do you want the time?" 

 Felix took a deep breath, "I just need to make sure I actually want this. When I was twenty I knew I wanted to marry him, but so much stuff happened and now I don't know if I do anymore. It's heartbreaking to think about but with everything that we've both been through... I don't know," 

   The woman could hear the hurt in Felix's voice. He was still wearing the his engagement ring.

 "I...I obviously can't give much advice here considering I haven't been through what you and him went through. I can give some advice though," She paused and glanced at Felix who was listening, "About six years ago, my husband and I were going through a bit of a rough patch.

 He was getting his Ph.D. and I was a baby lawyer and pregnant. We were arguing nonstop. Emotions were high and I said that we needed a break. He looked devastated and I am too head-strong for my own good. I left that night, stayed with my parents, and all I could think of is that I would be a single mom.

 Then my mom gave me some advice that at the time I thought was ridiculous. She told me to think back to why we began dating in the first place, why I said yes to marrying him, why I said I do, and why I continued to say I do everyday I woke up next to him. To me it seemed so stupid, but that night I thought of it all and it helped me. Obviously, this advice isn't meant for all relationships, but maybe it'll help." She said.

   Felix looked at his ring and touched it gently. Before Felix could say anything they called for them to board the plane. 

  As he sat there the questioned bounced around in his head. Why did he say yes to marrying Hyunjin? After everything. After the lies, the hurt... After everything that has happened why did he say yes?

 Sure, Hyunjin was there when everything happened with Micah and then Charles, but there were other things. The lying for three years, the things that happened in college that Felix brushed off, it all added up. 

  He just didn't know what to do.