It's a Long Way Home (Luke Hemmings)

A History of Bad Relations

   I woke up to the sun shining in my face from the living room window. It was 10 AM and I was feeling a little sluggish because of how late I'd gone to sleep. I stretched my body over the edge of the couch and folded up Luke's blanket. I tapped on his door lightly before opening it quietly to return his blanket.
   I expected him to be asleep but when I came in he was sitting beside his bed with his back facing me. His breathing was uneven and I heard a few sniffles before he broke out into full on tears. He still wasn't aware that I was in his room but I placed his blanket on his bed and rushed to his side.
"Luke," I said worriedly, "are you okay what happened?"
   I knelt beside him and reached out to touch him but he shied away. He let out another loud sob before dropping his head into his hands and hiding his face.
"Luke," my voice cracked. I had never seen him so upset before and I was worried something terrible had happened.
"It's okay, Luke. You're okay. Do you want to talk? I'm here," I said gently, trying to mask my concern with comfort.
   We sat there for a few minutes before his breathing calmed but there were still tears running down his face.
"Avery called," he mumbled.
   I clenched my teeth together to restrain my anger. Anyone who did this to Luke did not deserve anything from him. Especially not to call him her boyfriend.
"She asked if sh-she could come over and I told her no. I've never said no before but I was just so tired from staying up," his voice shook.
"She said I was lying to her and that I was probably too busy messing around with you."
   I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my fists so tight that I could feel my nails digging into my skin. She just wasn't going to give it up. She was going to torment Luke about me as long as we were living together.
"I got really mad, Dani."
I looked up at him, "what did you do?"
"I broke up with her," he sobbed again and fell into a fit of tears. He slammed his fist down on the floor again and again and again until I grabbed his wrist and told him to stop forcefully.
"Luke, look at me," he looked up at me with fresh tears building up in his eyes.
"This is not a bad thing... You did this because you knew better."
   He bit down on his lip and let out a shaky breath.
"You wouldn't understand. No one has ever loved me the way she did. No one has told me that they loved me, not ever. I needed her because she cared about me. Now I'm all alone and she's okay. She doesn't need me but I need her because I'll never find someone as good as her. It's all pretend with other girls."
"Luke she was brainwashing you," I said angrily.
"What are you talking about she loved me!"
"If she really loved you she wouldn't hurt you. She told you those things so that you wouldn't break up with her. She was feeding off of your insecurities to get what she wanted from you. Can't you see that?"
Luke froze in place and growled through gritted teeth.
"You're wrong, Dani!"
"Luke I've seen this before. It's unhealthy. You don't need her. You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy and you know it."
   Luke rubbed the tears from his eyes, "who's going to care about me if she doesn't."
"I care about you, Luke," I said desperately.
"But you don't love me."
   I froze feeling like my stomach had just dropped down an elevator shaft.
"I-"
"I know... I need some time to myself right now, Dani. Can you leave me alone for a few hours, please?" He whimpered.
"O-okay," I responded. It killed me to see him like this but I knew what a breakup felt like and I didn't want to overwhelm him.
   I walked out of his room somberly and closed the door behind me. The apartment felt so much more quiet than it should have been.
   I sat down on my mattress and wrapped my blanket around myself. I didn't want to leave the apartment because I was afraid Luke would end up doing something stupid so I sat in my room and listened to him shuffle around his own for a few hours.

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   I heard the soft sounds of an acoustic guitar coming from Luke's room. I sat up in my bed and listened a little closer. He was playing the same tabs over again and stopping after a few seconds, then restarting. I walked closer towards my door and listened from the doorframe. His voice was soft and fragile, cracking every so often while he strummed on his guitar.
I walked out of my room and stood in front of his to hear him clearer. He started the song over again and sang "I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted. I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted." I leaned against the wall and listened to him continue to play and sing with the occasional pause, probably to change a lyric or chord.
I let his voice melt into my brain. Even though it was quiet and broken, it was mesmerizing. I got lost in the way he sang. So lost, in fact, that I didn't even register that he had opened the door and was now standing beside me with a confused expression.
"Um, sorry," I said awkwardly, "I didn't realize you were standing there."
"It's okay," he said in monotone.
   I frowned, "you know I meant it when I said it's going to be okay. You have your friends and you have me to fall back on. We'll always care about you and be there for you."
   Luke sighed, "come in."

   We both sat down on his bed and he set his guitar down on the floor. He played with the hem of his shirt for a second before he spoke, still not looking up at me.
"Every relationship I've ever been in has ended terribly. There was Stella, who cheated on me, she was my first, well, everything. Then there was Allison who used to hit me when I did something wrong. Somehow I was always doing something wrong. And then Josie who told me that no one could ever love me. From then on I believed I was unlovable. A year later I met Avery who never hit me or told me no one could love me. In fact, she loved me. She told me she loved me and it was the best feeling you could ever imagine. That's when I realized that she was the only girl I could ever be with because she could put up with my terrible antics and constant need for affection. She knew it too. She still knows it. I was stupid to break up with her."
   I frowned and took Luke's hand in mine, "look at me, Luke."
   He looked up at me with a pouty lip and swollen blue eyes.
"You are more than what she says you are. More than what anyone has said you are. There's nothing wrong with you. You are not unlovable. You are sweet and caring and really quite handsome. You just only date the people you think you deserve. You deserve better than Stella or Allison or Avery."
"I don't," he croaked.
"You do," I said, so sure of myself that I felt he had to be convinced.
"I'm here, I'm a person who cares about you and I'm telling you that you deserve better."
"I hate myself, Dani. I hate myself so much."
   I squeezed Luke's hand a little tighter.
"I promise you're going to be a lot happier without her. You need time to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else."
   Luke shook his head in disagreement.
"You're amazing, Luke Hemmings, you just need to realize that for yourself."
   Luke grabbed my shoulders and wrapped his arms around me, burying his head into the crook of my neck.
"Thank you," he whispered.
   I nodded and he pulled himself away from me so that we were facing each other. I wiped a stray tear off of his cheek with my thumb.
"You're too perfect to cry over someone so insignificant."
   He scoffed and smiled the tiniest bit from the corner of his mouth.
"Go to sleep, Luke."
   He nodded and lied down in his bed. I softly pulled my hand out of his and walked out of his room whispering goodnight before taking one last glance at him.

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A/n:

I'm really sorry that this was so sad but it was necessary. Remember that I update every day and the next chapter's gonna be a real good one.

Thank you for reading,
Miss America