"Are you okay?" I heard Lisa's voice. My eyes opened but I didn't move
"No"
Being my sister, she knew me inside out. "Look, you're scared. You both are but by being scared you might just throw away the one most important thing you could ever have. Love."
I didn't say anything
"Mom would have wanted you to fight for him."
"Lisa, about-"
This time she looked directly at me. "Dont even try to say anything. You know mom only wanted us to be happy. Why can't you understand that?"
"Its not that easy I mumbled"
She scoffed. "Whats not? The distance? Thats such a weak excuse. Distance means nothing if two people love each other."
She was right. I didn't say anything for a while. She got up and went to her room. Everything she had just said was right. I cared about John. I wanted to be with him. Grabbing the keys from the table near the door I grabbed my jacket and put on my shoes. Such a whirlwind of emotions. I wanted John. How could I be so stupid. I said I'd wait for him and I meant it. He was worth it.
"Guys I'll be back soon dinner's in the microwave"
I didn't even wait to hear their answers. I went down the stairs as fast as I could without tripping. I groped around in the dark and unlocked my door. I got in and drove to the lot so fast I was scared I might run someone over. I didn't care. I just wanted to get to John I didn't even know what I would say. Nevermind. I'd think about that later. I got to the lot and I parked my car on the edge I didnt care if I was blocking anyone. I knew I must have looked ridiculous running across the lot toward the parked buses.
I got lost twice in the dark. Everything looked the same. My breaths were fast and I could hear my heart pounding in chest. Fuck. I had forgotten my phone at home. I'd have to bang down the door of their bus. I made it but I had to catch my breath with. The adrenaline was pumping. What was I about to do?
"John!"
I banged at the door
"John open up!" I said still panting. "Godamnit John!"
I heard the door unlock. My heart skipped beat. "Sara?" That wasn't John. It was Stephen
"Stephen?" I said, I must have looked stark raving mad to him "I need to find John"
"Are you okay. Did you run here or something?"
"Where is John!"
"Sara?" I saw John come up behind Stephen looking just as confused "What time is it"
"John, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry about everything. What you said, it made me realize, life isn't about giving up on something just because it's inconvinient to keep it. Its about fighting for what you love. I know, without a doubt I want to fight for you. I don't care about the distance. The states, the miles, I dont care how far away from me you are I'm going to wait for you. And don't you dare say it's not going to work out. We're going to have to find out."
I was suddenly aware about the fact that the noise had awoken Jess and Brian. They didn't know what to do or say. I didn't care. All I wanted was John to realize what I was trying to say
"Im scared of getting hurt and I know you are too. But the good things in life don't just fall into your lap. You're supposed to work hard for them. I have never met someone like you John, and I probably never will. I want you now, tomorrow, and for any day after that, I want-"
Before I knew what was happening John had walked over, lifted me in his arms with his lips pressed hard against mine. My knees went weak and I felt limp. Everything I hadn't gotten to say was translated in that kiss. I threw my arms around his neck. I was so close to him I could feel his heart beat. I couldn't hear anything else but the sound of our breaths. I wanted this forever.
Whatever doubt I had practically disappeared from my mind. In that moment all I cared about was me and him. John was worth it. John was worth all the pain I had to go through over the years. He was worth everything. I needed him as much as he needed me. He could fix me. John could fix me.
He moved away but only his lips. His grip around me tightened and my arms remained around his neck. Inches away from me his eyes staring into mine with an unwavering gaze. Whatever we didn't say to each other didn't need to be spoken. I knew how he felt about me and he knew how I felt about him.
Stephen, Jess and everyone else had gone back inside. I didn't care. I didn't care if the whole world was staring at us in my eyes, the only thing I saw was John.
