All The Odds

Twenty Eight

'Paranoia - extreme, irrational distrust of others. Extreme, irrational distrust of others - paranoia'

If Daniel keep repeating that and putting heavy emphasis on 'irrational' maybe he would drown out the other nagging voice in his head.

Cynthia couldn't possibly be cheating on him, she must have a reason for being jittery and unusually hoarding her phone these past couple of days and she'd tell him when she was ready.

"So, do you want to do something this afternoon? We could go out?" Daniel suggested but got no reply, she was sitting with him physically but gone again.

They were both lounging in her couch, a documentary that neither of them was paying attention to played on the television, he watched her and she watched nothing, just absentmindedly fiddling with her phone and checking the screen every other two seconds.

Her distraction was eating him alive, maybe he had overstayed his welcome at her place, he should go home for a little while. But then he'd have to face Bella and he wasn't ready to tell her exactly who he was and why their kiss shouldn't have happened.

"Cynt.." Daniel started but her vibrating phone cut him off and she immediately leapt out of the chair and made a mad dash for the bedroom.

"She's leaving you." The voice in his head poked at him, it had become irritatingly annoying and persistent since his kiss with Bella. It was his conscience, nibbling roughly at his nerves and keeping a lid on it was a struggle. He needed to come clean with Bella and he needed to do it soon.

Daniel got up and went after Cynthia, she turned to face him just as he entered behind her, her eyes wide like she'd seen a ghost and she held the phone centimetres away from her ear in a tight grip.

"I got in." She whispered before he said anything, he could tell she was momentarily stunned.

"You got in what?"

"I got in!" She suddenly squeaked and came barrelling into his body, Daniel caught her and himself from tumbling over only at the last minute.

"I got in!" She shouted in excitement, rocking both his and her body. "I got in, I got into Harvard, I did it!"

"Harvard?" Daniel froze in her embrace and forcefully removed her arms from around him. "When did you applied for Harvard?"

Cynthia's excitement diminished when she saw the hurt in his eyes and she quickly rushed an explanation. "My dad insisted I apply there for my master's, I didn't tell you because I didn't think I'll make it but oh my God, I just bloody did!" She got carried away again and gleefully pointed at her phone, indicating the call she just received.

"You are leaving me?" Daniel asked in bewilderment, making Cynthia well and truly stun this time. She didn't understand the wounded look in his eyes, she didn't tell him about it to avoid raising her own hopes up but now that she did, shouldn't he be happy for her?

"What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you, I'm only going to further my educat.."

"In the fucking US!" Daniel suddenly exploded and she flinched back in fear.

Something snapped in him, this was the last straw.

The thin wall he had carefully erected over the years between loneliness and insanity came tumbling down in his mind and the voice in his head got painfully louder and clearer. Daniel winced as it laughed at him sardonically.

"I told you she was leaving you." It said. "They will always leave you to do things more important. Why should any woman care about you? Your mother didn't!"