Mr.Carlile ~Cashby~ Collab with @BandShipper

Chapter 7

"Alan...say something." Austin's voice was laced with worry and antisipation as I tried to take in the site before me. Could I be a submissive? Did I even have a submissive bone in my body? Sure I was bottom and I may seem the slightly quite, to himself kind of guy, but that didn't mean I was in any way submissive, and I certainly had no idea how I felt about the idea of having all of these whips, crops, ropes and everything used on me. The thought of it made me so much more nervous then I was before, it kind of left me wanting to run for my life out of here. I was...scared...scared he might hurt me, pain wasn't my strong suit, I was a bit of a wimp in that respect. And the whole idea of being ordered around, told what I could, and couldn't do...I'd always had my independence, and freedom, and I liked it...could I give it up and be happy about it, even enjoy it?

Sure Austin was just about the most beautiful male I'd ever laid my eyes on, and a part of me want to at least try this, just so I could have just once, with this god like man, but that didn't settled my nerves, or fear with the whole thing. This was so much to take in all at once, my head was swimming, struggling to process everything. It felt like I had the angel and the devil on my shoulders, the angel on my left telling me to walk away and never look back, the devil telling me to give into temptation and curiousity and I just couldn't make enough sense of everything right now to know which side to listen too.

"Alan, please, you're worrying me." Austin pleaded, placing a hand on my shoulder, causing me to involuntry flinch at the sudden contact.

"I-Uh...holy fifty shades..." I blurted out, I was speechless, and that slipped out with out me even intending it too.

Austin moved so his was in front of me, his eyes serious, but held a small hint of amusement from my outburst behind them. "I'm no Mr. Grey Alan. Yes, I am a dominant, but please don't confuse me, or this with that awful book. It is in no way accurate to half of the the things being a dominant or submissive means. Sure there is a few points they got right, but for the most part, no, so please, don't base any of this on that book."

"So, uh, what, um, does it entail? All of..." I waved my hand aimlessly around the vast room. "this."

"Well, we can discuss the fine points later, if you say yes. Believe it or not, you'll be the one with the control here, you can dictate what I can or can't do to you in this room for the most part. For example, should you brake a rule, you will be punished, however, we can discuss what you will, and will not allow as punishment. There are rules, that I will require you to comply too, but again, we can discuss the finer points in regards to those. I'm also aware, judging by your nervousness, you're reaction when you stepped in here, and your frankly scared and quite demenour, as I expected, you know nothing about this kind of relationship...so, I'm certainly not going to throw you into the deep end. We can...work our way up slowly, and adjust the fine points along the way, because, you may think the idea of being whipped is terrifying, painful and not something you would like, but you would be suprised. A lot of it, the fear, the antisipation, the anxiety, is just in your head, it is the unknown, and insinctively, your mind builds up a defence, which causes those feelings of worry, doubt, nerves and fear. I'm sure you've done things that have frankly scared you, but you have overcome them and found out that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as you thought it would be, right?"

"Yes." I nodded, I had, coming out to my parents scared the life out of me, but as he pointed out, it turned out my fears, the fears my mind had instilled in me, had been for nothing. The first time I got on a skateboard, I was scared, I was scared of falling off, hurting myself, braking a bone or worse...and now I love the rush of being on my skateboard, hurling down ramps and half pipes, performing various tricks.

"Well the same apply's to this, right now it seems scary, and daunting, so I'm sure you're filled with a lot of doubt, worry, anxiety and such right now, but trust me, if you overcome that, it is very pleasureable and I very much think you'd enjoy it, as much as you may not think you would at the moment." Austin let out a small sigh. "Why don't I show you?"